When I was younger adults always used to tell us “you are what you eat”. I wanted to be cooler, so I one day I tracked down the most popular kid in my school and watched what he ate. More peanuts than I was expecting!
So then I followed him after school too, and that’s when I stabbed him and ate him. I never did turn into him though. Turns out that 'are what you eat is a load of shit'. In the end I was glad, because the next day when I was shitting him out he suddenly didn’t seem to so cool. Its hard to look cool when you’ve been mashed into a brown log with a bit of peanut lodged into your head.
Life is short. Or perhaps it lasts for a really, really long time. No one is really sure. Which sucks. If they can't figure that out definitively then what else don't we really know? The perfect size for a jar? What a fuckin' miserable thought. Fuck that. Instead here are the silly, weird, unhinged, absurd, silly, stupid, completely unrelated to hinges (moslty), poorly edited, outpourings and thought vomits of a silly idiotic teddy-bear of a dickhead. Staring David 'Pinky-Von-Sox' Tieck