Monday, June 15, 2015

Two Friends

Two friends sat next to each other.

'I bet you'll get eaten out this morning' said one to the other one. 

'No I bet YOU'LL get eaten out this morning' said the other one to the first one. 

By the way, stop assuming something dirty ok. These friends happen to be nearly empty boxes of cereal ok. Not dirty at all. Clean your minds. 

They're boxes of cereal who happened to be owned by a guy who loves given oral sex to cardboard. 

Ohh, it's a double twist! 

Proof Of Hope And Happy Endings


'Oh no'
I thought as I was coming out of my evening slumber. 
I could feel it in my upper left temple.
It was coming.
It was imminent. 
It was horrible. 

A zit was brewing. 
And based on the size of the sore area this was going to be a monster. 

'Will it fit under a hat?' I pleaded.
But no, it was too far down my face.
'I could start leaving my fringe over my forehead?' I reasoned.
But no, I find that mildly annoying. 
It was hopeless. 

I was destined to be a stupid zit head once more. 
Left to scourge the dark alleys to hide my shame. 

But then.
Like a ray of brilliant warming light.
It basked upon me. 

'Oh that's right, late last night while trying to turn on the bathroom light, I friggin' head-butted the corner of the medicine cabinet'

It hurt a lot.
This isn't a zit growing. 
It's just a full on dong smashing my face into furniture bruise. 

And in that moment, my stupid bruised face said it all - hope is there for us all!