Monday, June 19, 2023

The Promised Gob Promise

Welcome back to the fantastical everyone, the blog where we make the world more fantastical every day by exploring things are that awesome, rad and/ or ace.


Todays topic - as promised - finally - GOBS! 


Gobs? Did you say gobs? What the fuck are gobs? I hear you ask. 


They are your mouth I think. 


As in "shut your gob", and "stick this sock is your gob and tell me you can still whistle a happy nursery rhyme", or "your gob is full of teeth and it’s a big fat gob and your tongue is has got bumps all over it, what are they, I sand my tongue down to a smooth lacquer every morning so I don’t know, also holy hell, why didn’t some one say this can I am drinking from says paint on it, I thought I was drinking a delicious mug of cold sticky blended leaf chunks, not this vile paint, oh I wish I could taste, I guess if I eventually sand my tongue down to nice clothes peg, I’ll be able to peg recipes to it so my tongue can start to read up about what I want from it, I might have to give it some eyes too, anyone have a fish head they don’t want, also your gob looks weird, with it all upturned and beaming joy, I hate your gob" to name several well known sayings about gobs, that mean gob as in mouth. 


So yeah, I think we all know what a gob is. Question is though, should they be stopped? 


Well consider these things people have said before: 

  • over there is good 
  • I like it, I guess 
  • Small, ok fine small, if that’s what the receipt says then I guess that’s the button I pressed. 
  • Who’s that’s 
  • That’s Kevin 
  • Oh nice to meet you Kevin

All BRILLIANT things that have been said before, and have enriched lives, especially Kevin's life, he ended up getting a job from that other person, a GOOD one! Hell yeah! 


Now consider these things that have never been said by anyone ever: 

  • Scorn is flunged hertherwear for joust!  
  • Plunked porbs are saliving free! 
  • I for one like (insert something you don’t think ANYONE could like here)!

All statements that also would have been brilliant, had they been said, especially for Kevin, he’s been desperately seeking saliving free porbs, it would get him out of that shitty job he's been stuck in all these years.  


So I think we’ve answered this one. Gobs clearly should NOT be stopped.  


Let the gobs run free, freeeeee! 


Ps. I just realized that you can put gob stoppers in your mouth, which are delicious! 


What do we want 

Gobs stopped 

When do we want it 

Something something topped! 






An artists impression of Porb