Wednesday, October 27, 2010

How are your orgasms?

Earlier today I suggested that – The term 'anti-climax' is too harsh - this party is so boring I am now against orgasms!!!! Boo

I would like to now take that back and stand corrected (I feel sorry for people in wheelchairs, if they make a mistake they can never stand corrected, that’s pressure people, to always be right. I couldn’t handle it!)

I actually think it would be great if anti-climaxes actually did inspire people to be anti climax. Think about it, EVERY event would have to be awesome. Cause no one would be willing to risk ruining orgasms.


‘Hey boys, this may be just another league game in this soccer season, but if we don’t go out there and put on one hell of a show for our seven fans we could totally fuck up orgasm, so let’s go out there and play hard!’


‘Hi Mr Cameron, this is the studio calling, we’re going to shelve Avatar, if people find out that you just took the ‘dances with wolves’ script and changed the word ‘Indian’ to ‘weird blue person’ it could totally ruin orgasms’!


‘Honey, I am going to put all my efforts in today, I don’t want this sex to be anti-climatic’

‘That’s ok baby, I am a girl, I don’t actually care about your orgasms, and frankly I prefer to get mine from a rubber machine than from you’

‘Wait, what just happened? Damn you soccer league, your draw last week ruined my wife’s thoughts about orgasms!!!!!!!’


‘On the news tonight the sport of soccer has officially changed their rules to allow brawling after angry men everywhere began blaming draws for their women not caring about their orgasms’


‘No actually honey, it has nothing to do with the soccer, women have always disliked the male orgasm. It’s like if a guy makes a girl cum after two minutes he likes it and feels virile and she gets to enjoy the bodies most pure form of pleasure, but if a guy cums after two minutes he is taught to feel ashamed and unmanly and she makes fun of him to all of her friends’


‘The flight to Singapore today is expected to be smooth sailing and turbulence free, so we’re going to take a little detour past some Cambodian jungles just to see if we can risk crashing near some gorilla militants all hell bent on training their torture mongers, just to make this flight exciting’


‘And yet I’m the one who always wants it, something isn’t right here. Um, um, um – I know lets start having orgies, that way EVERYONE wins HOORAY’