Thursday, April 2, 2015

Now THAT’s a not stupid idea

I'm sitting in a park near my house as I write eating my lunch. Sure it's past five pm, and that's not typically a lunch type time zone, but I'm not a typical person, and as an atypicaphile I often find that it's my responsibility to notice other atypical behavior and judge it, especially if it's judgment worthy.

For example there is currently a girl in this park doing something really stupid. Now most people see something like this and think 'stupid girl' and do not go any further with their observing and internal commenting.

But this isn't just stupid behavior, this is stupid behavior that is a symptom of a far larger issue, which so far, as far as I have noticed, has failed to ignite the social conscious into social action that could affect important things, and important things sometimes affect people, sometimes even people in societies, societies near AND far!

I should start from the beginning.

There was a little girl, maybe a year old, climbing some steps near me. In my peripheral vision I saw her fall down a step and smack her forehead on the step below. There are lots of people around as this is a busy small park surrounded by cafes and restaurants, and not everyone saw it, but EVERYONE heard it. People heard it for blocks. A loud crack like a firecracker in a concrete tunnel echoed around the area, causing a wave of shock fueled shudders, abundant swells of wincing, at least four people to say out loud ‘ouch’, and at least three people to move towards her in sprays of aid.

As her mother scooped her up I was sure I would see a head caved in like a bulldozer dropped on a beanbag. To my surprise she was crying sure, but there was no blood, and after some bouncing cuddles, she calmed down and went back to playing.

Now she's chasing pigeons.

Which is stupid.

She’s even giggling while she is doing it, which is often a sign of enjoyment, except when it’s not and is instead a sign of a deep-seated plan to take over the world, but I am pretty sure this is enjoyment.

From chasing pigeons.

Which is stupid.

Because, you know, pigeons.

Clearly, as I have observed, I, well the little girl, has unearthed something truly true! An insight into the human condition even, a clue into the world we live in, and with it an opportunity to improve the world.

Clearly, based on what I have observed - smacking ones head on concrete really hard is the cause of stupidity!

There are lots of other kids in this park and none of the others are chasing pigeons. I don’t spend much time in the company of small children, but I am going to go ahead and guess that this is the first time any child has ever chased a pigeon, possibly any type of bird.

Now is where things get really exciting (if you thought the small child smacking its head was the exciting part then shame on you):

Smacking your head on concrete leads to stupidity. Therefore if we eradicate concrete we can eradicate stupidity!

This is exciting people. I, well the little girl, extracted this truth, so we’ll leave it up to you all to get rid of all the concrete. If you don’t mind, can you sort it out by next month? Also while you do it try not to giggle, or else you’ll give away my secret plan to take over the world! Now THAT’s a not stupid idea.