I just spent a couple of days in Amsterdam and it was awesome, but some things I learned about this wonderful city surprised even me!
- It has the most art galleries per-capita of anywhere on earth
- Many of the buildings are sinking and look about to fall over
- If you go there and don't do drugs or have sex with a prostitute the day you arrive home the mayor of Amsterdam prank calls you pretending to be an aardvark
- While marijuana is legal to balance it out watching squirrels play is strictly forbidden and I mean STRICTLY forbidden
- Before finding success with the red light sex district Amsterdam previously failed miserably with the mustard yellow painted chimney district
- Seriously you do not want to know what happens if you watch squirrels play, just trust me, if I talk about it anymore they might do 'it' to me too
- The 'dam' in Amster'dam' has nothing to do with the Dykes and everything to do with premonition that Dave 'Dam' Tieck would you know, visit and that
- Oh come on man, I can tell you're thinking about watching Squrrills play, are you insane?
Dave 'Dam' Tieck
Life is short. Or perhaps it lasts for a really, really long time. No one is really sure. Which sucks. If they can't figure that out definitively then what else don't we really know? The perfect size for a jar? What a fuckin' miserable thought. Fuck that. Instead here are the silly, weird, unhinged, absurd, silly, stupid, completely unrelated to hinges (moslty), poorly edited, outpourings and thought vomits of a silly idiotic teddy-bear of a dickhead. Staring David 'Pinky-Von-Sox' Tieck