Wednesday, April 15, 2015

Life sure is an adventure

I was in the shambles, locked into the muddled lack of clarity which is to walk with the uncharitably steadfast folk of the sun-dried tomato lovers. 

Relentless they were about their passion. 

To be dried was an honorable and committed willingness to be altered. To accept a concentrated effort toward the experience enhancing power of dehydration. Something that is only achievable or even possible in a post moist existence. Moist, moist, moist, not to stay, but as mere lillypad on the hop across the stream. Although streams and dryness do not have a whole lot in common, so perhaps saying a mere sandal in the journey from flip flops to covered shoes would be a more apt metaphor. Depending if you're from a country that calls them 'flip-flops' or 'thongs'. Plus you wear those to the beach, damn it, more wetness. 

Yet dryness is no where near the whole story. To be sunned was to bask in the literal glow of the very giver of life to all creatures and living beings, organisms and bacterial outbreaks of existence on the spinning stone we call home, and to honor man's most important and greatest achievement, the discovery of the sun. The very thing people used to think was a mere practical joke born from a god hellbent on testing willpower to not look at and yet ability to notice freakishly huge things of unquestionably and unstoppably powerful reality living in spheres of relentless heat that are in the sky. But of course the sun turned out to be a little more than that. You know, UVs, or something. Plus the beings that literally birth other beings also play a part in giving life. Yet the sun remains natures most natural giver of life, because how can you be natural if you're not part of nature? Artificially dried - no please. 

Although again that wasn't the whole story. There is still a third important ingredient to this tale of committed broke gone for and arrived at execution, we still of course must isolate the lost penguin in then Antarctic, which is the tomato. Because it's good on pizza, which has cheese, which is yum. You can't just sun-dry anything and be happy. Sun-dried warthog rectum is only good with tabasco, for example. Where as sun-dried tomato can be pared with a whole spectrum of hot sauces. 

Also the Antarctic is ice right? Damn more moisture. Please don't think these metaphors soaked in wetness are in anyway disparage or minimize my recognition that dryness is key to these peoples belief system. 

Yes the sun-dried tomato lovers were insistently tirelessly passionate people. And I was tasked with walking with them. 

Or so I thought. Turns out we just happened to be walking the same way for a few blocks. Life sure is an adventure man. 

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The combat was sloppy 
I'll give you that 
Really awkward too 
That's unquestionable 
But awkwardness matters not 
When sloppiness is at hand 
For the awkward are damaged
The sloppy merely lazy
Well, damaged too 
I mean almost everyone lost at least one limb
That's damage in my book
One guy just a hand 
But it WAS his favorite hand 
Surprisingly, that wasn't his writing hand 
Or perhaps it's not surprising
Now that I think of it 
He WAS one of the sloppy ones
Awkward too
Especially after his hand was gone
He was crying 
Bawling really 
Saying stuff like 'my hand, my hand, my hand' 
We get it 
You've lost your hand 
Stop whining 
I almost cheered when you finally got speared
All of them 
So your families and homes are gone  
It's no reason to fight sloppily 
So they're almost all dead 
So we need new recruits
So who wants to be a new member of the PTA? 
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