Little known facts about Australia plus whats the best moments of your life?

Being an Australia in America people often ask me what Australia is really like, and usually I tell them its pretty much the same as over here, but there are some weird things, so I fell I may as well share them, so blow are some

Little know facts about Australia

In Australia

Hippy loving tennis ball collecting fans of the old school circus arts are thought to be the least likely people to drink Diet Mountain Dew Beating a dead horse is considered kinda fun and way less cruel than beating a live horse, although eating a can of dog food is just sad Men don’t call their wives their better half they just refer to themselves as her inferior half It’s not considered wrong or cruel to use a cat as a cereal bowl, it’s all about spending quality bonding time After years of putting up with 'did you hear' and 'did you see' Australians got fed up and declared touch the number one sense. ‘Did you touch the news?’ we may be heard saying You’re not considered a man until you have drunk so much milk in one sitting your urine turns white, fortunately it’s never caused any guys to go weird or anything. If you glue your penis to a tree you some people may think you have weird sexual fantasies If a dog eats a human poo they get told off yet if a human eats a dog poo they get sent to the loony bin, yet that seems unfair to us Regularly cracking joints is not considered enough justification for medical crack cocaine As well as being a social lubricant drinking beer is also thought to be desirable alternative to catching monkey fever Oh also, I am thinking of exploring what people consider to be the happiest moments of people's lives and seeing if I can recreate some of those moments for myself, so what are some of the happiest moments of your life? Who feels like sharing, especially those stories where happiness came from unlikely sources? Oh on another note, what do you fear

Out of cracks in the pavement

Especially here in LA, when I tell people I have never once tried even an unlunged puff of marijuana, they mostly think that I am blatantly lying. Hey I look like ME! How can that guy possibly not suck on the wacky.

Truth is I've never even been tempted.

Then just this morning it hit me. The reason people smoke the wacky is to be more like me weed free. My normal state is extremely laid back, constantly wanting to eat, and with weird twisted fucked up thoughts running around in my brain like my most recent twitter:

'Do you ever blow your load into a fish tank just to both ignore the spit or swallow debate and simultaneously murder some gay ass fish?'

Or this thought I am having as I type this that the letter t is such a narcissist it needed to be in the word letter twice and wanted Jesus crucified nailed to it, t is even in the word team, damn you t.

Why do I think things like that?

Anyway do you smoke weed to be more like me?

Do you ever call the cops and say 'I just heard a gardener say he pulled out lots of weeds from Brad Pitts garden, are you going to arrest Brad for drugs AND the gardener for stealing?

Do you ever rent out a self storage space just so you can say to people 'I don't own a 1960's era pasta strainer, but if I ever get one I might just put it in my self storage space'?