Welcome to the best day of my life
initiative, the blog I write really late at night after promising myself I
would do anything today, literally anything – eat a crocodile tooth that prior
to my chewing was still deeply rooted in its owners gums, tattoo ‘I love being
spat on by strangers’ on my face, corner an office worker and refuse to let
them leave until they had given me every secret possible on how to get hired in
an entry level data entry internship, I’m talking literally any stupid thing I
could imagine, even some things not evolving any entry or exit of anything,
well known to be the corner stones of stupid activities, what I am getting at
is that I would do absolutely anything whatsoever to avoid writing this blog
once again super late at night, and yet somehow I end up only eating crocodile
teeth that were only shallowly rooted in the crocodiles mouth, illicit my face
getting spat on with smoke signals and bus stop billboards, and end up getting paid
shitloads of money for all the entry level data entry I do, and then somehow
end up writing this super late again. So
late in fact that I barely even have time to dick around with nonsense at the
top, and time and time again need to run straight to proving that today was
indeed the best day of my life.
Like right now I have zero time to dick
around, I’d love to just muck about, riffing on whatever comes to my head,
whether relevant to how cool, complete, and complication free my awesome day
was, or not. I could write about all sorts of things if given the time. Like
for example prison riots, I could probably discuss them at length, perhaps break
them down into type, location, motivation, goals, mission statements, ring
leader types, outcomes and results, and all in all manner of specific detail,
to the point where prison riots were finally completely understood to levels
allowing them to be predicted, minimized and occasionally even completely
avoided. I could dick about talking about something like for literally ten or
twelve minutes, even if prison riots had very little to do with the day I had
just enjoyed, like today for example where my experiences with prison riots was
limited to a small scuffle over at Belzion Maximum Security over who’s turn it
was to stir the home made clam chowder.
But I don’t have time for that type of
activity, no way. All I have time for is to remain focused and on point, and
simply explain my day, and why it was the best of my life, inspire the shit out
of a few of my readers, but with direct language, uninterrupted flow, and
precision accuracy, with no going off on tangents, or employing any form of
experimentation, or getting sideswiped with back track detours. It’s just too
late, I need to focus, get this done quickly, but interestingly and obviously not
skimping on any of the quality.
Ok fine, I get it, you want me to at least
flirt with something away from the cold hard facts. Ok, um – have you ever
wondered why most basketball hoops aren’t made out wood? No? Me neither!!
Ok, awesome, that was totally worth the
diversion. So like I was saying, today was the best day of my life. It was
really, really fun. I slept in a bit, I ate some food, and this evening I went
to a place that I didn’t think would be good, in a part of town I don’t tend to
desire visiting, mostly with people I don’t know cozily, and I had a really
good time. There is a lesson in there somewhere, possibly about not focusing on
what you expect and instead just enjoy what actually happens in reality. No.
Um, good times don’t necessarily have to come from reliable sources. Nah. Um,
well, ok I think I got it – save some time, and money (ding – the title of this
blog comes good) and that’ll probably feel good. Yep, nailed it.
Alright I need to have a quick snack then
hit the sack, hmmm, maybe this time I’ll try a deeply gum rooted alligator
tooth!
