Saturday, November 22, 2014
The Best day of my life initiative – five and dime
Welcome to the best day of my life initiative, the blog I write really late at night after promising myself I would do anything today, literally anything – eat a crocodile tooth that prior to my chewing was still deeply rooted in its owners gums, tattoo ‘I love being spat on by strangers’ on my face, corner an office worker and refuse to let them leave until they had given me every secret possible on how to get hired in an entry level data entry internship, I’m talking literally any stupid thing I could imagine, even some things not evolving any entry or exit of anything, well known to be the corner stones of stupid activities, what I am getting at is that I would do absolutely anything whatsoever to avoid writing this blog once again super late at night, and yet somehow I end up only eating crocodile teeth that were only shallowly rooted in the crocodiles mouth, illicit my face getting spat on with smoke signals and bus stop billboards, and end up getting paid shitloads of money for all the entry level data entry I do, and then somehow end up writing this super late again. So late in fact that I barely even have time to dick around with nonsense at the top, and time and time again need to run straight to proving that today was indeed the best day of my life.
Like right now I have zero time to dick around, I’d love to just muck about, riffing on whatever comes to my head, whether relevant to how cool, complete, and complication free my awesome day was, or not. I could write about all sorts of things if given the time. Like for example prison riots, I could probably discuss them at length, perhaps break them down into type, location, motivation, goals, mission statements, ring leader types, outcomes and results, and all in all manner of specific detail, to the point where prison riots were finally completely understood to levels allowing them to be predicted, minimized and occasionally even completely avoided. I could dick about talking about something like for literally ten or twelve minutes, even if prison riots had very little to do with the day I had just enjoyed, like today for example where my experiences with prison riots was limited to a small scuffle over at Belzion Maximum Security over who’s turn it was to stir the home made clam chowder.
But I don’t have time for that type of activity, no way. All I have time for is to remain focused and on point, and simply explain my day, and why it was the best of my life, inspire the shit out of a few of my readers, but with direct language, uninterrupted flow, and precision accuracy, with no going off on tangents, or employing any form of experimentation, or getting sideswiped with back track detours. It’s just too late, I need to focus, get this done quickly, but interestingly and obviously not skimping on any of the quality.
Ok fine, I get it, you want me to at least flirt with something away from the cold hard facts. Ok, um – have you ever wondered why most basketball hoops aren’t made out wood? No? Me neither!!
Ok, awesome, that was totally worth the diversion. So like I was saying, today was the best day of my life. It was really, really fun. I slept in a bit, I ate some food, and this evening I went to a place that I didn’t think would be good, in a part of town I don’t tend to desire visiting, mostly with people I don’t know cozily, and I had a really good time. There is a lesson in there somewhere, possibly about not focusing on what you expect and instead just enjoy what actually happens in reality. No. Um, good times don’t necessarily have to come from reliable sources. Nah. Um, well, ok I think I got it – save some time, and money (ding – the title of this blog comes good) and that’ll probably feel good. Yep, nailed it.
Alright I need to have a quick snack then hit the sack, hmmm, maybe this time I’ll try a deeply gum rooted alligator tooth!