Celebrations, and other things you should stick in a bowl and eat

 Well it's happened. 

That's right, good people of the Expansion Fantastical universe- we posted our one thousandth blog the other day!

That's one THOUSAND times, I, David Tieck, have had a bunch of thoughts, and thought - you know what, these are thoughts that I think the internet will think are worth thinking about. 

And I was right. The internet thought - yay. And they turned those yays into clicks. And they turned those clicks into reads - in fact, we also just hit our 990000 read!

Who'd have thought, that thoughts like these thoughts could reach so many thousandths of thinkers? Yay. 

It's a time to celebrate, sure. But it's also a time to reflect. And with reflection comes questions. So I put it out to the universe - ask me anything you want to know about the blog. And the universe... responded. 

"Ok, so, but like what the hell is the blog actually ABOUT"? 

People have been asking me this question for decades. On planes, on bikes, on trikes, on trains on rails, on railway style trapeze home game editions of the price is right, on homing pigeons with their settings set to "human size parcels", on Parcels United Brand skateboards, and even on NON transport devices like in cars or on Star Trek style "transport" pods. 

And my answer to this question has come on lunar modules, in buses, on planes, and even on Star Wars style "transport" pods. 

And that answer has been a resounding - YES. 

Because the blog is about THIS!

But it's also about other things. Many other things. Many other things like...

Helmets, and carpet, and the crushing defeat of the corn starch industry’s infiltration of rice bubbled cereals - HEY corn starch - FUCK OFF! 

Rice bubbled cereals are RICE's backyard - and you can get the fuck off rice's yard!

I mean, come on corn starch, keep to your own lane. Plus why do you even want to be in Rice's yard, when you have a whole LANE, and it's a great lane. 

Consider these amazing things ALREADY in your lane:

 - Cornflakes

- Corn Bubbles 

- Corn Starch Marching Men From Venus

- Corn Krispe Bites 

- Corns In a Bowl With Milks

- Corn Horngers 

- Corn Flavored Corn Corns and 

- Corn Flaked Bubbles of Corn Clusters 

Oh fuck. I have just been informed that not a single member of the list above is a real cereal. Not one. Yet each and everyone is spectacularly AWESOME. 

Well I think we've answered this one: 

"What the hell is the blog actually ABOUT"? 

It's about I, David Tieck, finally being declared the new LORD of cereal! 

And it's about getting me, David Tieck, finally officially DECLARED KING of CEREAL IDEAS, and possibly getting my name legally changed to David "CEREAL KING" Tieck. 

First next step: Call me Kelloggs and/or the other one (or ones? Who pays attention to cereal?) - I am ready to take my RIGHTFUL place at the HEAD of your cereal research and development department! No one knows the game better than me! 

First Job: Change the department name to - The Cereal Kings Workshop (please note, I just come up with the ideas, someone else can "work" them out). 

Wait wait wait, I just had another idea - new shipping method - Homing Pigeons with their settings set to - Cereal Sized Packages. 

I can't be stopped. 

Hire me FAST Kelloggs and/ or the other one (or ones), or this guy thinks that you'll have thoughts about how you should have thought to hire me, sooner! 

I think. 

Ps. Thanks for the reads. YAY! 

The Best Day of my Life significance – twenty one hours or so away

Hello everybody, and all your friends, family and even loved ones - today was the best day of my life, and you know what, I am going to tell you why - I ate cereal for breakfast! And ok, sure, that’s a little peculiar, and if I am honest even a tiny bit bizarre, but that's not the MOST weird, unusual or even irregular thing I did today, awesome and odd sure, but it only scratched the service of my strange day.

I guess the MOST curiously strange thing I did today was probably the fact that I didn't digest a monopolized theory of creature comfort hunting. Something I normally do at least once or twice a day, before then catching myself and thinking – ‘wait “creature comforts”, like creatures like animals? Is that really what that term is about? Animals? Cause I've seen flies wriggling for life on a spider-web and while the web does look mostly soft and like it naturally contours to the body, for the most part that fly doesn't look comfortable, especially as the spider bites it's face off, although it does see to calm down the wriggling around then. Wait does that mean monopolies are bad?'

Then, of course, having reached this final question it’s only now that the day normally really gets interesting, because I find myself looking through history in search of a true successful monopoly that was not bad, and here's the thing, those are hard to find, because history books are normally more interested in pots than monopolies.

But why pots? Is this a conspiracy? Clearly. But what kind of conspiracy - one designed, managed and hidden by a wide group of individuals or even firms, or one monopolized by just one man, woman or firm?

Good god!

Now I realize that there is a good chance that I've missed out on learning out on learning about historical monopolies because of a monopoly, and because of that I no longer have even a tiny idea if I'm supposed to be seeking an existence as comfortable as a fly having its face eaten off?

And I'll admit it, without the comfort of the fly contentment seems a mile away, and I already often find fucking contentment to be a hard emotion to maintain endlessly and flawlessly - and it turns out it's all cause of pots!

Good god!

This thought train usually takes up a good deal of my day, researching, studying, experimenting, and obviously catching flies to chuck at spider-webs desperately seeking answers. Answers that are often as hard to come by as a spider-web with a spider still on it, and with no kids throwing rocks at it.

Not today though. I didn’t do even half of that stuff today. Perhaps because I started the day right, with cereal, and then focused on that delicious bowl of cereal for the rest of the day. Leading to the best day of my life. So thanks for reading todays blog, I will see you again tomorrow, or if I am on it early possibly even only 21 hours or so away.

Wait hang on, don't historians also check out not just ancient pots but also bowls? Just like the one I ate cereal out of?

Oh my fucking God.

I've been in on the conspiracy the entire time, and if I'm the only one eating bowls of cereal, which I may well be, seeing as I pay almost no attention to other people, so have no idea what they do or do not do, then this conspiracy might be monopolized by me!!!

I’m suddenly very scared, I no longer have any idea what I am capable of, and what other monopolies I control, either today or through history. Watch the fuck out, is all I am saying, things are about to get bloody abnormal and that’s coming from a guy who during this blog really did use a shit load of synonyms for ‘weird’.