Thursday, January 21, 2016

Today in pet hates

Here's one I think we'll all agree with...

Don't you hate it when you're riding along innocently on your bike, with a joyful hope in your soul, and with a jolly song in your heart, and a jing-jing merry spring on your breath, when SUDDENLY you get shoulder-barged off your bike by a giant scorpion that smells of lycra halfway though its production cycle, and with twelve arms, each of which have a human face on the end, and each face is a different sibling from a family who's wealthy parents have recently passed away and left all their considerable fortune to 'which ever kid argues the loudest and meanest for it', and it wearing a scary skeleton outfit, but then when people see your scratched and bruised arms and knees they don't believe it happened because apparently 'there's no such thing as a bike'.

I think we ALL hate that. But I have a solution - simply make that scorpion your pet, and you'll now have a loving, snuggly pet hate!