Wednesday, April 21, 2010

More more more times saying more!

"Are we end-stopping daaaahlings?"

Oh no I don't think I did this last week, I must bring it back this week, hardcore.

A poor sentence is - Everything turns on a dime.

I know Nate, because that is a fucking lie, and when the lying begins where does it end, like this - in Switzerland people have a nasty habit of licking out the bottom of the fondue bowl and then going out in public kissing street lights which could be a nasty spreader of disease if two fondue eaters kissed the same street light on the same night AND also could be deadly to moths, which would be disastrous.

Now look what I did, because the lying was started before me I have gone and told my own lie and now I have slandered a whole nation in a way which will forever more have people look at them and snicker and then feel sorry for moths. THAT'S how evil lying is. You bastard dime.

I wouldn't want this dropped from a building on me - it hearts your ears, a penny from the top of the Empire State building penetrates deeply into the concrete,

I have heard that about those pennies, but I haven't seen it, and because of that I think there should be a new national holiday where we chuck stuff off the Empire State Building, and I know Letterman does it on his show, but not from that high, and not awesome stuff like cows, and happy coincident.

I know you meant hurts, but I like hearts. In fact I think single people should carry around a toy mushy heart with them the size of a baseball, and when you see someone your attracted to you just throw your heart at their heads, and if they don't want your heart they can just chuck it back at you, and then even though you've just been rejected it reminds you of playing catch with your dad, which will make you shed one single tear, and then have her think your really sweet and sensitive and then she'll go shag some asshole on the otherside of the bar because you know, girls don't like sweet guys they like assholes, and so they'll leave you to wallow in your misery. See how much better that would be than the current system!

I'm baffled by - People's inability to distinguish Civil Rights from Contracts

I think its because they are both C words, and when I see that letter C all I am thinking is cunt, and cock, and coo coo, and cocklenoodle, and once those four dealies have entered my brain then I am off on a journey which takes my imagination down flowing rivers, in front of shiny yet speeding buses, and into space with wings that are arms but which work as wings, and then I am like, what, wasn't I supposed to be thinking of something important?

To answer your question, wait the other way

Chris says

The weird thing about yelling is?

We seem to be the only mammal this size that has to try hard to do it!!! I'd love to Yell freely, but it just hurts!

I know and that makes me mad, which makes me want to yell more, and then I am yelling at the pain cause by the yelling which leads to a break down of all society, and now there is no society which really makes me mad, and just as my rage gets so out of control that my head is about to explode it hits me, cartoon characters don't have real voices, they have other persons voices, isn't that kinda weird? Then the yelling kind of just drifts away.

One thing I would hate to have fall on me from a great height is Blessings? Because the greater the height they fall from, the greater an impact they may have on my life?

Yes and blessings are fucking vicious, I once sneezed and this girl walking past said "god bless you" and I am like "fucking hell, that's all I need, not just a blessing, but a blessing from god, the most powerful thing in the fucking universe dealy OR possibly even the most powerful thing ever imagined, and if he is only imagined then he can do fucking anything, like in your imagination he can have your fingers turn into peanuts and then have elephants come and eat your peanut fingers, and then have hunters come and hunt the elephant, and then have non-vegan food experimental enjoyment of that experiment people go "yeah I'll try an elephant steak" only then it turns out that out that out and that I made a mistake but I am running with it and then because of those food allergies you know to peanuts, they die, thats just how powerful an imaginary god can be, which is fucking psycho powerful which can be scary if you believe in such things, so how about keeping your blessings to yourself you bitch.

Wait, no that I think about it she was just being nice, sorry.

I'm baffled by the thought of destiny, if it is so, then why do I only seem to feel it when I'm not living in it!!?

Wow, you can feel it when you're not living it, ME ....... TOOOO!!! It feels a little naughty doesn't it? Yet it isn't and that in itself is a conundrum which can drastically changed your entire destiny in itself. Its a wild ride, Chris and I know, one day you may too.

Oh the new location for Ok, intriguing: Hell Yeah! is right here

Continue to be awesome, now there, good sir

A crazy happy enigma

High above blissfully falling fast

Joyfully swimming in the moat

My weird unexpected mysterious paradox

Changing mischievous impish needs

Silly out there randomness

Constantly unforseen belief altering

Bizarre peculiar abnormal atypical unusual

And joyfully blissfully owning it

Strange odd funny wild



Entertaining and fucking pleasurable

Orgasmicly defying expectation

Ferocious altering perceptions

Beautiful irony that it is

Having escaped my kingdom

I found myself between the warning sign and the fall

Now I have stepped beyond that yonder

I shall

Embarrass mere history

Embarrass mere history

Yes I shall

Yes I shall

Continue to be awesome, now there, good sir