Life is short. Or perhaps it lasts for a really, really long time. No one is really sure. Which sucks. If they can't figure that out definitively then what else don't we know? The perfect size for a jar? Fuck that. Instead here are the silly, weird, unhinged, absurd, silly, stupid, completely unrelated to hinges (moslty), poorly edited, outpourings and thought vomits of a silly idiotic teddy-bear of a dickhead. Staring Dave "Davey" David Tieck
Monday, December 22, 2014
The Best Day Of My Life Hierarchy - correct names
I love class systems, cause you really know where you stand. In class.
Get it. Cause you're in class standing and that's a system. Like if that was the system I was referring to before. Which I was.
We interrupt this brilliant comedic display of humor that really is relatable but also crafty and poetic to bring you this:
There once was a small wand. It was magic. As all wands are. That's what makes them a wand. Otherwise they're just a bloody stick. And if you call a stick a wand you may as well just re-label everything. Oh see that receptacle for garbage, it's called a meteorite, and that moving vehicle with a person driving it, that's called a parrot, and that liquid that man is sucking into his face with a straw, that's called an airplane.
Fucking hell, you see what happened here - now there is chaos, someone asks you:
'Can I consume my airplane in your parrot or should I put it in a meteorite' and you don't know what the fucks going on. You'd be all like:
'Um, meteorite please, last time you had an airplane in my parrot you spilled it and made the console sticky!'
Some fucking people.
Where as if someone asks:
'Can I consume my airplane in your parrot or should I put it in a meteorite' before all these things we're renamed and then, wow, your going to have a fucking awesome day no matter what you choose.
A guy putting an airplane in a meteorite would be bad ass. But I'd choose for the guy to eat an airplane while inside a parrot! Brilliant fun.
So it was a wand, and it WAS magical okay. I think we've proven that's more fun. But it was small. At least as far as wands go. So it felt bad.
And that's why I hate class systems, this thing is magical and feels bad just cause it's small? That's bullshit.
So yeah, I had an awesome day. I got a sleep in and pizza! Or as they are called now a harpoon and jugglers. And if you're day is all harpoons and jugglers then someone is bound to eventually have a hilarious accident.
Renaming stuff kicks ass.
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