Wednesday, April 1, 2015

Nauseous OR Cautious?

Ladies and gentlemen it's time to play yet another exciting game of...

Nauseous OR Cautious? 

The world's foremost, brilliantly regarded and medically accurate game show dedicated to deciphering whether a persons current uneasy physical state is being caused by them feeling...

Nauseous OR Cautious? 

Of all the game shows which take contestants who are feeling a sense precariousness and are unsure exactly what this potentially disequilibrium inducing conundrum is a symptom of, with a sense of casual caution or a rudimentary case of nausea being two of the possibilities, we think best of them all is...

Nauseous OR Cautious? 

Sure Stomach Flu Vs Scaredy Cat wins more awards and has higher ratings, but sometimes during their games it turns out that the people that are revealed to be suffering from stomach flu do not technically embody the symptoms commonly associated with nausea. And, while they may claim it to be true, JUST CAUSE YOU'RE CAUTIOUS DOES NOT NECESSARILY MEAN YOU'RE SCARED! I mean for fuck's sake, IT'S MERELY COMMON SENSE HALF THE TIME! JUST CAUSE YOU HAVE YOUR MONEY IN A BANK DOESN'T MEAN YOUR SCARED OF BEING MUGGED! I mean you might be, but still, you're also just being sensible damn it. So just because I am too cautious to go on that rollercoaster DOES NOT MAKE ME A PUSSY! You fuckers. Labels are hurtful. And game shows should NEVER be fucking HURTFUL! At least we make sure they never are at... 

Nauseous Or Cautious? 

Are you ready to play? 

Of course you are. Our first contestant is Karl, how are you feeling today Karl? 

Karl: I'm a tad uneasy. A little nervous to be finally playing on my favorite game show. I feel a sense of queasiness. With a hint of fear of barfiness. I am wary of my liverishness, and circumspect about my qualmishness. 

Thanks Karl. And now to our judges...

Genevieve - Nauseous! 

Greg - Cautious! 

And finally, with scores tied right now...

Charlotte - Nauseous! 

The answer is Nauseous!!!! I'm sorry Karl, you lose, and will now be thrown into a volcano. And thanks everyone for joining us, we've just played... 

Nauseous OR Cautious?