Monday, June 28, 2010

Oh damn, I forgot all about this!!!

Its the links to our show this week.

Ok, intriguing: Hell Yeah! - the sunburned edition :)

Faith is back, we have two special guests, and we explore wrong in all its forms as always, hope you enjoy.

Part one

Part two

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

In this moment

I'm a gypsy
I'm a dreamer
I need to explore
I need to runaway
I need
I need
To be free
Why not just
I don't know
What to do
When I need to do it all
When other people's problems sum up my goal
When my mind stays confused
When I still can't sleep
Or move forward
Trapped in my body
Oh no
Is it happening again
Why aren't I there still
Doing what I don't want
But not knowing answers
Just look at me
In my embarrassment
Building from it
Not wanting to repeat it
What's next
Please what's next
May it be right
These perceptions blind

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Sometimes the funny is just obvious

Dave's Dam Days

What’s the worst that could happen?

There is nothing worse than losing faith, and seeing as we had printer issues and didn’t end up doing the Magical Questionnaire on the show last week, here is a ‘what is the worst?’ that could happen review dealy of the responses. For these please meet my evil twin, Massively Immoral Dave MID (parents of twins where one is Massively Immoral are often also the unimaginative type’s, and in this scenario this is what I am suggesting, make believe is fun).

Fuck you’re a tool! Shut up Massively Immoral Dave, you haven’t been introduced yet. Hey Weird Except Basically Moral Yet Sort Of Crazy Dave, or HWEBMYSOCD which is a crap name so why don’t we actually make it Dave’s Actually Moral because that makes DAM which is a nickname you’ve sort of being working on for yourself after having it coined for you in Amsterdam, which is actually kind of nice of me, but that’s how someone Massively Immoral works, we’re sort of nice AND THEN we get you, ha ha, I don’t live by the rules. Rules are for cunt holes, like you, cunt hole Dam. Ok Mid, you don’t have to live by the rules, and you can now do this what’s the worst that could happen dealy. I will, plus I de-sharpened all your pencils, suck it bitch.

What's something you've had faith in at some point of your life and lost?

Some people in my life.

Oh yeah, I lost faith in some people in my life once. One was this guy Patrick, he was a god dam Homeopath. So like I meet him right, he goes I’m Patrick, I’m a Homeopath, and I am like hell yeah motherfucker, that’s fucking awesome we should hang out some time later. Yeah that’s right, I am massively immoral, so you better believe I have no problem fucking the shit out of someone in a homosexual way EVEN though I barely know them, and then getting into some hardcore sociopath type activities. I mean a homosexual sociopath and someone who is the massively immoral genetic equal of his actually moral brother, THAT is a combination ready to take over the fucking underworld. Which is even better than taking over the world because if you take over the world you have probably got to deal with like famine and shit, and an immoral motherfucker like me doesn’t deal with social causes so the underworld kicks ass, plus I was ready to do some over the top sociopath type shit, which is something really goddamed noticeable if you rule the whole fucking world which I think puts to rest the argument for taking over the underworld rather than the world world. Like for example I had plans to be a tyrant of some description, cause that sounds cool, and I was going to like put mothballs in some strangers car so it would smell all mothbally, and like go to a canteen and like fuck a teenager and when the teen’s parents called the cops I would be like its can-teen, as in Can fuck teens here bitch, that’s the kind of immoral literalist I like to be. So then Patrick shows up and it turns out he is NEITHER a homosexual OR a sociopath, in fact a homeopath is some sort of doctor or some shit, and apart from the fucking lying in name of his the profession he chooses to represent himself by, and of course lying is fucking awesome, but like helping people in a medial way is NOT how this immoral scumfucking cunt holes, no sir bob (which is a guy I fucked in a totally ethically corrupt way). So yeah I lost faith in Patrick (plus that’s a guy I knew who abused at cat, and even immoral as fuck me thinks that’s fucked). I lost faith in him big time and because of that I never did mothball some cunts car, and I will NEVER forgive Patrick for that. (I might mothball his car for revenge).

More to come.

Monday, June 21, 2010

Careful crossing the street

When I was about ten years old everyday when I walked home from school there was a major highway I had to cross. At this time in the afternoon the traffic was heavy on the far side of the road and almost non-existent on the closer side, so I would every day cross halfway and stand on the medium strip waiting for the light to go green. One particular day for some unknown reason I decided not to walk half way today, it wasn't that I felt like being patient or lazy, it was an instinct that specifically told me not to. Moments later a car got clipped by another car going at high speeds and the car lost control and slammed hard into the pole where I would have been standing. It is not possible that I would have survived.

About six or seven years ago I was at the local mall having just been to a doctors appointment. This particular appointment was for me to receive results of a biopsy and after a horrible two weeks of waiting I just found out I didn't have cancer. I was heading into the mall for what I assume would have been a celebratory dessert of some description when I had a street to cross. It is a pretty quiet street despite being in a busy area and by the time the light turned green for me to cross the rest of the pedestrians had crossed against the red, something I rarely do, and especially here as there is a blind corner where you can only a see a car coming really late, I have seen people nearly hit there dozens of times. So I wait for the green and ready to cross. On this particular day however with my head in the clouds with joy of not having cancer and yet with the doctors still not sure what the hell was causing my never ending ear infection, just sure it was 'something' in their words, I waited for the green, but instead of walking as the little green man showed himself something told me to step back, so I did. In that moment a car coming around the blind corner realized he hadn't made the orange light but was in no position to stop for the red and to compensate for his error and try to get through the intersection as fast as humanly possible he instead sped up and took the corner as close as he possibly could meaning he clipped the gutter and missed me by less than an inch. Once again I would surely have been killed.

I don't know what this instinct was both these times that saved my life. I don't think I regularly have instincts which turn out to be nothing. I do have the kind of fucked up mind that I constantly can't see speeding cars without visualizing them crashing, I can't see pedestrians sprinting in front of speeding cars without seeing them hit in my mind. I visualize all the possibilities in most of the situations I am in. It is why I write and make art, my mind already sees it all so why not explore when I can.

So there is a corpse in the middle of the road in front of my building right now. A young girl tried to sprint across the road in front of a truck but wasn't fast enough. The entire block is marked out in police tape, there are cops everywhere, there is a truck driver sitting by his truck looking more distraught than any other human I have ever seen, and sitting alone in the middle is a girls body covered in a white sheet. Dead to save two minutes waiting for the lights.

I know a lot of people who take big risks driving and crossing the street to save a little time here and there. I can't do it, I see the possibilities with my mind, and once I have seen the potential to end up a corpse I can't take those risks.

I used to say that I had discovered patience, but I don't think that is what it is. It's purely a discovery of the death of my youthful stupidity.

I don't know what it is about cars which make people take such risks around them. Everyone thinks it wont happen to them. Yet people die in car accidents or being hit as pedestrians over and over and over and over again. And I hate it. It makes me mad and it makes me sad. I've learned to really dislike cars. My instincts tell me if I didn't it would kill me. I drive as little as possible, and hope to one day stop driving altogether. I dream of a carless society with amazing public transport which is safe and quick.

In the mean time we all have to live with cars. They dominate our lives. Still I cannot understand that while cars pollute our world, cause wars and environmental catastrophes, affect the economy sometimes with disastrous results, and kill thousands upon thousands of people consistantly why why why, at the very least, can't we take away the licenses of those people who clearly don't take the responsibility as seriously as it needs to be taken.

Drink drivers, massive speeders, and dangerous drivers of all sorts get fined, sometimes lose their license for short periods, but we keep giving them back.

If we take away the licenses of the the worst 25% of drivers (which I think should be the minimum) then suddenly we have a huge reduction in pollution, traffic gets way better, driving becomes massively safer, plus these people now in need of alternatives start using trains and buses which injects cash and forces governments to improve the facilities, which leads to other drivers more willing to use them, and we get a whole movement towards a better system. At least as far as I am concerned.

Anyway, its not going to happen. So instead I continue to be safe as best I can, I hope you do the same, especially my friends who I know do not, and I worry for them. Until you do I will continue to have to deal with my mind watching you die thousands of times a day, and I'll get back to twisting the crazy way my mind works into bat shit insane comedy :)

Saturday, June 19, 2010

Ok, we got all sorts of wrong :)

Hell Yeah, we probably made fun of just about everyone, check it out and see if we can offend you too!!! :)

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Do you have faith in magic?

In sad news this week, Ok, intriguing: Hell Yeah! has lost its Faith. It's literal Faith. Yes the beautiful Faith Willman will be at a wedding this Friday, and for our first time having to deal with a loss of Faith, the magical questionnaire this week is all about loss of faith.

What's something you've had faith in at some point of your life and lost?

Something I have faith in right now is ____________? Because _____________

One thing that should never be given for a prize is ______________

Come check out the show, we will probably have a very special guest co-host, and intriguing stuff, and hell yeah stuff, all the good dealies :)

6pm California time Friday, Noon Sydney Saturday (I think), 9pm NYC time Friday

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Look at me, I'm naked

Apparently as I a small child I simply adored getting naked. Any chance I could get, especially in public, off came the clothes and out came the pee pee, and then I'd run around like a drunk who had lit himself on fire.

I don't have much memory of this. On the other hand I believe the earliest memory I have of life is sitting on the potty next to someone else sitting on the potty with myself boasting that I could pee out of my bum.

Basically I was a diarrhea prone show off with a solid desire for exhibitionism from the get go.

I guess little has changed :)

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Listen to this please

Most history books don't cover this, which is a shame on the historical community, but before mufflers were officially muffled they were actually some of the biggest talkers in the world.

A muffler once gave a speech in Ancient Rome that went for a hundred and twelve hours and with out a single toilet break, by the end he was merely listing things he knew could never fight each other in the Colosseum and yet he would like to fight regardless. This included a midget fighting a Slumper (an ancient cutlery devise used to pry the meat off the pig as it roasted over the fire - they stopped using them when they realized that sixteen prongs really was over-kill) and also an obese man fighting a hippopotamus (at that time the obese were primarly fed to lions to give them the taste for human flesh).

Another time a Muffler was asked for directions to the post office and the poor lost fellow was subjected to detailed directions but also a concise bio of the architect of the building and a dictation of the history of the postal services (this last bit wasn't so long given that the concept of delivering mail had only been invented a few days earlier). The man also was told just how builders went about constructing the huge columns they put in front of buildings. This information was of course lost when mufflers were muffled and then cruelly attached to the bottom of cars, not only ruining a great species and the only living talking metal species, but also rendering most buildings column-less and boring.

Mufflers unfortunately on the other hand (a term mufflers despised seeing as they had no hands) were not just wells of information, they were also vicious liars and rumor mongers (amongst the many lies mufflers told over the years was that they coined the word monger when in fact it was actually coined by a small Peruvian boy while trying to order Mongolian Bbq take out).

Mufflers were responsible for some of the worst rumors and lies ever told

- it was after a Muffler told an Englishman that rats were fun to lick that the black plague broke out
- it was a muffler who started the rumor that women were allowed to say no to sex leading men to start seeking world power, and you know starting all those war dealies
- Jesus? You better believe that was a another Muffler rumor (Buddha on the hand was real. His rise to spiritual leader was inspired by the fact a lion had refused to eat him, making people think he was magic. His jolliness on the other hand, yep, you guessed it - merely a muffler rumor. He was actually a sadistic serial killer and his justifications about reincarnation at the time were considered silly in the way 'the dog told me to do it' is joked about today.

One rumor never attributed to the Mufflers, yet one I personally suspect were all over it (I was going to say had their finger prints all over it, they don't have hands David! Ha ha, sometimes you can be silly) was the rumor that you can wish upon a star - this is NOT FUCKING TRUE. Ever since this rumor was begun wishes have gone wasted on non-wish granting entities and this is just the kind of evilness that was at the very heart of the Muffler rumor mongering society.

The point is with electric cars becoming more and more the rage we have reached a time in the world where Mufflers may no longer be part of the auto-community and therefore Mufflers may be freed from their muffling and you better believe they are going to have a lot to say, and if you only listen to one thing this week, listen to this - don't listen to the mufflers, they're often really, really mumbly and that can be annoying to listen to.

Ps - did you listen to that? Awesomenessous - It's hard to hear the written word - I'm super proud of you :)

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Back to normal proceedings

Ah the crazy life has been crazy this past month making me even a tad crazier than normal.

I have been poor with blog comments, both on my own blog and others, and OK, intriguing: Hell Yeah! has been off, and I haven't been blogging, and you know I have been doing some of that life dealy off the net. But this week things should be resuming back to their normal awesomenessous, hell yeah!

And to celebrate I am going to do something totally abnormal for me, and that is to quote someone else

What's an Australian kiss?? The same as a French kiss except down under baby!!


Someone who I have never spoken to, but I knew there was a reason I liked to kiss down under ;)