Tuesday, December 9, 2014
Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes – today was the best day of my whole goddamn life, because today I fell down. Spectacularly. In public. Really, really busy with people public. Like people fucking everywhere. All of whom saw me fall down. And there were lots of them. Cause it was at a train station at peak rush hour.
Ok, so I didn’t actually fall down. I just tripped, and then did like the ten step/ run balancing act trying to stay on my feet, all while flaying like a giraffe on ice. Only to not actually fall down. And yet still have a lot of fucking people looking at my near fall, and judging me, and laughing and all those things.
Now I know what you’re thinking ‘poor you, you poor little monkey, if you had have scraped your knee I’d come and wash it for you, and pick you out a really cute pink band-aid with kitties on it, and then tell you everything will be alright. But seeing as you didn’t actually fall down, but instead just had something super embarrassing happen, I will instead wash the scrape on your knee in your soul, and cover that with some form of kitten covered sticky adhesive tape, and still tell you everything will be alright’.
Well thank you, that’s very nice of you. But unnecessary. Because I already have an ample supply of kitten covered Band-Aids to cover even the least physical of knee scrapes. Plus… well ok. So the thought going through my mind right before I tripped was literally ‘I feel really awesome today, this best day of my life things is really paying off’ – that was seriously what I was thinking.
Then I immediately tripped.
And my every instinct screamed at me to go into a desperate hole of self attack – ‘this is what you get for thinking positive thoughts, everyone is laughing at you, this is what you get for wearing ladies shoes’ (hey they only had the nice purple ones I got in the women’s range, but they are exactly the same as the mens!) and even ‘time to go back into a shame hole’. But I did none of that. I instead started laughing, and then instead of running away I bought a water from the vending machine (not a soda! Wow, what’s happening to me) and got on with my positivity.
So yeah, this best day of my life thing is actually having an effect. Now, just cause I didn’t let my public humiliation ruin my day, does that mean no one is gonna wash my god damn knee?