Tuesday, September 24, 2013

And now in honest advertisement

After 25 years of making frozen pizza we've learned a thing or two, mostly that it's not possible to make a frozen pizza that's any good 

So buy one of our frozen pizzas today - disappointment guaranteed 

Friday, September 13, 2013

My take on Syria: a smarty pants one

If vampires have been around for hundreds of years then how come there is no records or even stories of them hanging around World War One?

Hey, vampires, what are you too good to suck the blood of a sixteen year old Austrian boy in a muddy rat infested trench painfully dying from seeping bloody and puss oozing wounds all over his skin and inside his lungs after a mustard gas attack while a fellow soldier tries to steal his socks and a giant rat gnaws out his left eyeball?

Stay tuned next week for my take on fart noises: A hard hitting exposé pants one.

Thursday, September 12, 2013

Vote for me, vote for me, vote for me (this is a blog about an opportunity to vote for me)

Oh yeah, I have minions - hey minion type awesome people - Vote for me, vote for me, vote for me, pleeeeeaaasssseeee!!!! If I win I will give everyone who voted for me $5! (subject to tracking me down where ever the hell they send me, and saying 'hey, I'm (insert name), and I voted for you I swear!!!) 

 Click these words you're reading right now to vote for me - yes these ones

(Amount I'll give you may vary based on currency of country I am in, let's make it $5 US equivalent, or like 7,840,000 Lybian Gaddafis)

 Oh also, enter yourselves, we can support each other, that's how awesome we all are:)

Monday, September 9, 2013

These are really cool

I've been thinking about doing some re-posting of cool things I find that I like to make up for the fact that I don't have time to write blogs as often and yet still want to keep people coming to my blog, and because I'm awesome - Click this link below this text to see some cool photos

Click here on these words you are reading right now to see the photos which I determined to be cool

And here are some photos that I took which are worthy, if not more than worthy than the ones linked above, that I just spent two hours looking up, because I don't have time to write much anymore these days

Sunday, September 8, 2013

And now signs you may be a scientist

1. You do science
2. You like it
3. You drink orange juice out of old acid beakers
 4. Your car has a bumper sticker that says 'I'm a scientist'
5. You see a sewer rat and arrogantly proclaim 'I could grow an ear on that'
6. You've never owned a trans am
7. Your favorite character on breaking bad is the main guy, the sciency one
8. You KNOW how they get the bones out of the boneless chicken wings
9. You light your cigars with a bunsen burner
10. You've had sex wearing nothing but a white lab coat
11. People call you up and say 'I've got a science question for you'
12. You know the answers to their questions
13. You're fond of starting sentences with  'if my calculations are correct'
14. People introduce you with 'this is my friend, he's a scientist'

There you go - if it turns out you are a scientist then congratulations - if not it's ok, you could still be one one day, I recommend starting with number 12. Knowledge is power!