Hello everybody, and all your friends, family and even loved ones - today was the best day of my life, and you know what, I am going to tell you why - I ate cereal for breakfast! And ok, sure, that’s a little peculiar, and if I am honest even a tiny bit bizarre, but that's not the MOST weird, unusual or even irregular thing I did today, awesome and odd sure, but it only scratched the service of my strange day.
I guess the MOST curiously strange thing I did today was probably the fact that I didn't digest a monopolized theory of creature comfort hunting. Something I normally do at least once or twice a day, before then catching myself and thinking – ‘wait “creature comforts”, like creatures like animals? Is that really what that term is about? Animals? Cause I've seen flies wriggling for life on a spider-web and while the web does look mostly soft and like it naturally contours to the body, for the most part that fly doesn't look comfortable, especially as the spider bites it's face off, although it does see to calm down the wriggling around then. Wait does that mean monopolies are bad?'
Then, of course, having reached this final question it’s only now that the day normally really gets interesting, because I find myself looking through history in search of a true successful monopoly that was not bad, and here's the thing, those are hard to find, because history books are normally more interested in pots than monopolies.
But why pots? Is this a conspiracy? Clearly. But what kind of conspiracy - one designed, managed and hidden by a wide group of individuals or even firms, or one monopolized by just one man, woman or firm?
Now I realize that there is a good chance that I've missed out on learning out on learning about historical monopolies because of a monopoly, and because of that I no longer have even a tiny idea if I'm supposed to be seeking an existence as comfortable as a fly having its face eaten off?
And I'll admit it, without the comfort of the fly contentment seems a mile away, and I already often find fucking contentment to be a hard emotion to maintain endlessly and flawlessly - and it turns out it's all cause of pots!
This thought train usually takes up a good deal of my day, researching, studying, experimenting, and obviously catching flies to chuck at spider-webs desperately seeking answers. Answers that are often as hard to come by as a spider-web with a spider still on it, and with no kids throwing rocks at it.
Not today though. I didn’t do even half of that stuff today. Perhaps because I started the day right, with cereal, and then focused on that delicious bowl of cereal for the rest of the day. Leading to the best day of my life. So thanks for reading todays blog, I will see you again tomorrow, or if I am on it early possibly even only 21 hours or so away.
Wait hang on, don't historians also check out not just ancient pots but also bowls? Just like the one I ate cereal out of?
Oh my fucking God.
I've been in on the conspiracy the entire time, and if I'm the only one eating bowls of cereal, which I may well be, seeing as I pay almost no attention to other people, so have no idea what they do or do not do, then this conspiracy might be monopolized by me!!!
I’m suddenly very scared, I no longer have any idea what I am capable of, and what other monopolies I control, either today or through history. Watch the fuck out, is all I am saying, things are about to get bloody abnormal and that’s coming from a guy who during this blog really did use a shit load of synonyms for ‘weird’.