Today in secrets

You know those bookshelves which are actually secret doorways? Well they are strange because ALL bookshelves are secret doorways - well, if you consider reading a secret - and you consider the imagination a doorway - and you can deal with the cruel reality that the boring 'book shelf' could have therefore been instead called the far more bad ass 'reading imagination' - and you can handle that this alternative name is actually sort of confusing as it references a secret doorway that is only metaphorical - and you're not too lazy to read a book - and you're not offended that I used the word 'lazy' to describe non-book readers - and you're not upset that I'm seemingly discounting all the hard lifting done by the shelf itself on a book shelf - especially if it holds reference books - which aren't really the kind of books that open secret doorways - but are heavy and frankly why should bookshelves hold a secret doorway - why isn't holding up big heavy stuff enough for you people? Would you like to hold up books all day for people to 'maybe' read the spine of - no you wouldn't - unless you would - in which case maybe you're the one hiding secrets!