Hello everybody, how are you all doing on this (insert weather where you are – some of my suggestions would include ‘fine’, ‘overcast’, ‘shiny’, ‘so cold that sticking an icicle up my ass would warm me up’ or ‘not bad’) day? It’s currently (insert relative time of the day for you upon reading this here – some of my suggestions would include ‘the afternoon’, ‘early morn’, ‘three minutes to hell’, ‘I’ll get out of bed when I fucking want to and not a second before’, ‘6:45pm’, ‘6:45am’, ‘is that the sunset or sunrise?’ or ‘now’), and that’s a (insert current emotional here – some of my suggestions would include – ‘fine’, ‘icey cool’, basking in the glory of the joy of being alive’, ‘not bad’, ‘how fucking cool is this’, ‘swell’) time to be alive.
Today is the best day of my life. And I’ll tell you why.
- Because of a different factor than the fact I currently feel quite sick.
- Because of a different factor than the day on the calendar which for some reason continues to be an awful day for every human alive, except for people I hate, even though we don’t use calendars anymore.
- Because of a different factor than some tough decisions I have weighing on my mind.
Yes today is the best day of my life, because I have different factors. And not everyone can have different factors everyday. That’s tough. Like think about the factor of seven, that’s the factor of seven no matter how many times you throw the number six at it. You could even throw the number six at it seven times and it would stay the factor of fucking seven.
Yeah, that’ll do. It’s the best day of my life for the factor seven, and no other reason in particular, not that my life sucks, not at all, it’s awesome in a lot of ways, but right as I write this it’s the best day of my life simply because I choose to think that way, and not with any evidence, or reasons. That’s actually pretty cool to think right now. Yes. I feel good. I hope you all also feel (insert emotional content you’d most LIKE to feel right now here – some of my suggestions include ‘swell’, ‘in a lovely mood’, ‘better than a guy with no arms who’s busting to pee and can’t find his helper’, ‘enthusiastic’, ‘under employed’, ‘neat’).