Friday, September 25, 2015
Old as dust - poem
The oldest man in the world suddenly jolted upright in bed.
'Oh fuck' he thought 'since I was born literally every other human on earth that was alive is now dead'.
'There have been a lot of unsolved murders in that time, I'm probably a prime suspect!'
'Where are your alibis sir?' They'll ask.
'There's only one thing I can do - kill everyone'
And so begun one of the biggest slaughters in the history of the world.
By which I mean he climbed out of bed, put on his slippers, took a weak shit and ate a bowl of soup.
He was a hundred and thirty two! What did you think he was going to do?