Tuesday, December 1, 2009

The birth of men worrying about penis size finally discovered

This is a re-post, which is not something I am normally a fan of - 'give us a re-post!' no, fuck off you bastards. But I got a pic comment which reminded me that this should be huge, yes pun fucking intended and why should I be forced to admit that!

As the Ice Age began to descend upon the earth, the cavemen were forced to migrate from the Arctic Circle south, following the animals they ate as they migrated too, all seeking warmer temperatures. As they made their way they eventually came across an area which would eventually be named Utah. Here they discovered this!

Cock Rock!

It was glorious, cock the way god intended it, huge, hard, and circumcised (also where that whole cut off part of your dick to please god started). The cavemen all looked upon the magnificent cock rock and saw the future of man, a species which eventually would have cocks that were bigger than their arms, and they would be able to spend their days having their wondrous member worshiped by women, so they would no longer have to beat them with clubs to get them to sleep with them.

But alas, as more and more cavemen came to worship around the beautiful dick they started to explore the area more and more, and one horrid day a caveman out hunting for wooly mammoth discovered this

Dont just look at the gorgeous arch, check out that rock formation above him

It was god's vision of vagina. And it was a huge gaping hole, even the magnificent cock rock would be lost inside this enormous cunt. 'This was god's vision?' The men had to ask themselves. God intended for the cock to always be just not quite as big as the women would like them to be! They all looked down there robes to check out their now tiny looking penises, and a self doubt was embedded in all men that very day, which has carried through the male sub-conscience to this very day.

Then one wise caveman, possibly taking comfort that even though no dick would be big enough, at least his was bigger than average, yelled to the men surrounding him "fuck this dick thing, lets piss off to Mexico, invent a drink called tequila and then maybe we can use that to make women more likely to sleep with us!"

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