Tuesday, December 15, 2009

I am sick, my god am I sick!


Do you ever think back to the moment you were squeezed out of your moms vagina, your covered in blood and placenta, and your crying, and then you realize 'holy shit I'm a new born, I shouldn't be seeing this!'

Oh shit now I have just visualized this. Thanks a lot brain, I feed you with grains and corn and alcohol and this is how you repay me, with a visualization of a new born me coming sliding out of my own mothers vagina.

Oh shit, I just visualized it again. I am sick, I am a sick sick fucking man.

I hope you know I did not plan this blog out, this isn't something I pre-thought, this is just whats happening in my mind as I write and I have done it, I have made myself feel ill from my very own sense of humor.

Ok, so I should never tell this story to another human being ever in my life, and I never have again, and I wish I wasn't about to, but I will, because as I mentioned above I am a sick sick man.

Here goes - the first time I ever saw an adult vagina

Wait hold on for a moment - a week or so ago on this blog I confessed that I played I'll show if you show with a girl when I was about five and she pulled it apart and I swear there were balls inside her vagina, balls, testicles, scrotum, just like mine but smaller and inside, what the fuck was that? I asked it before but I still want answers my friends, hell yeah, I want answers, what the hell are inside the vagina balls?

So I walk out of my bedroom, I am about fourteen years old, when out of the blue there it is, a naked woman! Hell yeah.

Well it would be, except its my mother.

AAAAUUGGHGGHGHGUUGUGUHG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Is what I should have thought, before headbutting the wall until I passed out in a bloody mess of my own minds eye as if I had just looked into gods asshole and it was twenty times brighter than the sun.

Instead, fuck me dead, I can still picture this, and I deserve death, but I first thought 'hell yeah, nude lady'. I WAS A REPRESSED LONELY PRE-PUBECENT TEEN OK!!! DONT JUDGE ME!

Here, yes only here, is where it gets really creepy.

My mind, in this moment, this horrible, fucking disgusting moment, I think to myself 'just look at her tits, you can see pussy anytime you want..... with your mind'.

just look at her tits, you can see pussy anytime you want..... with your mind

just look at her tits, you can see pussy anytime you want..... with your mind

just look at her tits, you can see pussy anytime you want..... with your mind

just look at her tits, you can see pussy anytime you want..... with your mind

just look at her tits, you can see pussy anytime you want..... with your mind

just look at her tits, you can see pussy anytime you want..... with your mind

just look at her tits, you can see pussy anytime you want..... with your mind

just kill me, please fucking kill me, WHY IS THIS IN MY MEMORY BANK, NO NO NO, PLEASE GOD NO

What the hell was wrong with me, what the hell IS wrong with.

Ok lets look at this rationally, first off, I can see pussy anytime I want.... with my mind? Excuse me, how on earth could I possibly think that, I had never seen a pussy, what where did I think this magical pussy imagining ability would be conjured by??? Its like god ok, you can believe all you want, but you can't know till you've seen it, and the pussy was like god to me.

Secondly, look at her tits!!!! I live in Australia, our beaches are topless, and girls takes advantage of this, because there is no time girls would rather show off their tits than when they are sandy, lying on their back so they are sitting flat and deflated like deflated balloons, and red from over sun exposure, so yeah, hell yeah, I had already seen some poorly presented tit, so just look at her tits.

Oh god, I must stop writing this, I started with one of my usual 'hey I'll say something gross and then enjoy people being disgusted' type 'jokes' and it led me down a dark and horrible path.

I apologize to all.

So hey, ever made a horrible, disgusting, revolting, yet retarded decision, tell me all about it, please tell me, or else I need to drill a hole in my head and pour chlorine inside.

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