See that darkness down there all around me? That is my CARPET! The actual stuff! (its actually red wine colored, to cover up red wine stains)
And this is me lying on my guitar which is lying on my CARPET and my RUG!!! (Right where the guitar lies on this rug there is now a red wine stain, fuck you friend of mine who did that and never confessed but did leave me to wake up next to a big ass stain and and a bunch wet paper towels showing that you knew what you did but couldn't be bothered to clean it properly - plus, the whole fucking carpet it red wine colored, aim your spills better you prick)
Oh my god, these gloves are sitting on my coffee table, which is sitting on my rug, which you better believe is sitting on my CARPET!!!!!!! Hell Yeah
This is me, casting a spell which didn't work, because I did it on a sheet, on the floor, and not on the CARPET!!!!
Me lying on some weird rubber floor not a carpet, notice my knee is injured, coincidence? (actually I'd just attempted a marathon with a knee I'd injured snow boarding, but still where is the carpet you bastards)
One day ALL the carpet will be gone, scary? Yes! (plus why the fuck did I wear flip flops to walk on an active volcano, moron? Yes!)
This is me literary breaking a world record, how did I do it, the room had fucking carpet!
What happens when you leave the safety of the carpet to enter the nightmare of the sea? You look like a tool in front of girls in bikinis, thats what!
This photos has absolutely fucking nothing to do with carpet!!!!!!!!
Carpet, carpet, CARPET, carpet
Anyone else feel like giving oral sex right now?