Sweatession - the (so far) un-filmed sketch
OPEN ON DAVE IN DRENCHED WET T-SHIRT DOING PUSH UPS, WITH A BOTTLE OF YELLOW LIQUID SITTING ON A TABLE
(POMPOUS CONFIDENCE DEEP VOICE) When I have just finished a great work out on a sweaty hot summer’s day there is one thing I know for sure – I smell fucking awesome.
HOT GIRL SMELLING ME, AND IN RAPTURE OVER HOW I SMELL
(Seriously turned on) Oh baby
That’s why I have decided to release my new scent Sweatession. This isn’t like those tacky celebrity scents, this is the real deal; every bottle of sweatession is literally a bottle of my sweat!
DAVE NOW TAKES OFF SHIRT AND RINGS SWEAT OUT FROM HIS SHIRT INTO THE BOTTLE AND REPLACES THE CAP, HOT GIRL MAKES VOGUE POSES AROUND ME
(WHISPERING LOADLY) SWEATESSION, SWEATESSION
Come on guys don’t go out this year with scent that smells like flowers like most colognes, that’s totally gay
Flower smelling guy? Totally not hot.
Go out smelling like a real man – and no one is manlier than me!
HOT GIRL CUDDLES UP TO DAVE SNIFFING AND LICKING HIS SWEAT AND LOVING HIM
(Holds up a bottle of sweatession as if to camera)
Now that’s what I call sweatession affection!
Bottle of Sweatession next to bottle of Cum use my face cream
We’re also throwing in a free bottle of the manliest facial cream available, Cum use my face Cream
DAVE POURING SOME OUT AND RUBBING ON HIS FACE
Bottle of first two products and third product, the gel
Buy in the next Five minutes and as an extra special bonus get a free jug of Dave’s placenta, thats right Dave is such a man he even produces placenta or what we call Man Hair Gel
All three products lined up
Don’t wait, all products in limited supply, Dave can’t release bodily fluids forever!
Yay, auditions are open for the role of 'Hot Girl' now :)
Life is short. Or perhaps it lasts for a really, really long time. No one is really sure. Which sucks. If they can't figure that out definitively then what else don't we really know? The perfect size for a jar? What a fuckin' miserable thought. Fuck that. Instead here are the silly, weird, unhinged, absurd, silly, stupid, completely unrelated to hinges (moslty), poorly edited, outpourings and thought vomits of a silly idiotic teddy-bear of a dickhead. Staring David 'Pinky-Von-Sox' Tieck
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Have you got a bottle yet?
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