Girls like guys with intelligence, and I have an IQ that scrapes along the top of the charty dealy they rate those things on. Girls always fail to say a normal smart guy, not a crazy madman genius (did I just call myself a genius = yes. Fuck you David you arrogant tool. No fuck you Dave, I can't think of a good come back! Ha David, some genius. Well, well, well, um, why don't you just go and cause physical harm to yourself like in front of a bus or something you big meanie).
I like girls with cute little baby voices. Probably because I have never really gotten over the fact I never had the chance to be in the company of any girls when they were in the shy, awkward, trying to figure out boys, holding hands means the world stage. So I substitute with girls with underdeveloped vocal chords, I also like girls who can sing (crazy madman genius + can you still call yourself a genius when you have had to spell check every time you have written that word here?)
This is all to say that Elmo from sesame Street is smarter than Albert Einstein and I can fucking prove it!
Cause if E = MC2
Then why doesn't the alphabet go
a - b - c - d - MC2 - f - g - h - i etc
I'm Elmo and today we are going to talk about the letter Eeeeeeee (mmm baby squeaky voice) and why Albert Einstein was a fucking moron!!!
Also last night I had a dream I was being banished from some land I loved where there was art, and bands and no body liked me, plus they threw out my Gibson Les Paul, I found it in the trash, but you NEVER throw out a Les Paul, those fuckers, and this somehow led me to be in a room where lots of people wanted to have sex and all the girls rejected me except one, Robin Williams ex wife who had a very hairy back but still wore a backless shirt, and I was trying to have sex with her, but she was taking care of a baby, and when I was finally about to close the deal my alarm went off, and I didn't even fucking SET an alarm!!!