Monday, October 11, 2010

How to have all the power in the world!!!

Yesterday I ended up being a little bit political completely unintentionally. Damn those politicians and their sneaky ways to influence us regular folk.

Made me think today, and that's dangerous. Damn those politicians and their sneaky ways of creating danger.

People are always referring to the president of the United States of America as the most powerful man in the world and I can't help but think, um, no he isn't!

The president is a man (or one day a woman) whose every single decision is subject to world wide scrutiny and debate, and is molded by meetings/ following party lines/ honoring promises/ and catering to benefactors who paid for their campaigns, and whose implementation is reliant on being passed in congress and the senate and all those bill dealies! Power my ass.

And speaking of ass, consider this: If the president is anywhere but the White-house and he needs to go poo poo it takes a massive security operation clearing bathrooms and making sure safe passage in and out of perhaps previously unplanned buildings. And the president is a person who is stressed and often eating foreign foods at irregular times and therefore probably has inconsistent and perhaps even sudden strong poo poo needs where time is of the essence and he has to spend that time waiting for meetings between his security team on where and when the best time and place for said bowel movement can be arranged. That's right, the presidents bowel movements require MEETINGS and then when he goes he probably has security right there in the toilet with him just in case someone has snuck in a deadly spider in the hope it would bite him. (by the way, I have always thought dropping spiders on enemies would be WAY more affective than dropping bombs. Plus wouldn't the footage look cool, thousands of little spiders being parachuted onto Iraq?)

If you cannot have a bowel movement without other people having a meeting to discuss when and where you can then you are not powerful!

The president has 330 million bosses, and every single on of them will tell him he's not doing a good job if that's how they feel. Have you ever had a boss tell you that you need to lift your work effort, or that a task you have completed wasn't done satisfactorily? It feels horrible, and the president gets that times 330 MILLION times for EVERY thing he does! That would make you feel bad, and feeling bad isn't powerful.

People who have more power than the president (or any elected official in any democratic country) include:

Paris Hilton
Homeless people
Lab rats
Head Lice
Washing left to dry over a balcony railing
Green balloons
YOU! Every single one of you!

Damn those politicians and their sneaky ways of pretending they have power!

1 comment:

  1. I was really hoping some of this would be funny.