Monday, October 11, 2010

The looming health crises?

Now I don’t usually like to talk about what everyone else is talking about but on this one particular issue so many people have talked so much about it and yet I still don’t think that the people have talked about it in a way in that it should be talked about.

I am sure by now you have seen pundits on CNN and the nightly news talk about the local paper in the small former silver mining town of Sala near Stockholm in western Sweden’s report that the local high school is considering dropping the subject of ‘health education’ or ‘helunda ecoloa’ from their curriculum after the closure of the 2015 school year unless the moderate change in the school budget which is projected to be passed in the next few months doesn’t go through.

Most of the so called ‘big news channels’ claim that this is a sure sign that the health of the entire world is in jeopardy. And while such a horrific rumor to come out of a small town school administration is often a forewarning of a global disaster (it was a small Austrian schools decision to switch lunch from 12pm to 1230pm which was the original catalyst for WWI as I am sure you know) I think in this case the so called experts are wrong (plus who puts ‘expert big news channel guy’ on their business card, isn’t that a little wordy, why not just ‘know-it-all-but-don’t-really-because-I-just-report-what-I-hear-from-other-places-meaning-really-I-just-know-lots-of-people’ surely that’s more practical).

Point is I believe that many of these people who we put so much trust in are not looking at all the facts here. Yes I know newsmen are magical people, a weather man once said it might rain and then it DID – that’s proof that the news people CAN and DO make bold predictions, and weather, also, can have major effects on the world, it once rained when I was on the way to the shop and the heavier traffic meant that I did NOT buy the CD I was planning on buying as planned. And we all know what has happened to the CD market – it’s collapsed! Only years after they lost a sale to me because of the rain. Well delayed sale, I bought it the next day, but still who knows how many other products have seen their market share dwindle to almost irrelevance because of such a delay? We don’t know – you should be on this newsmen, you’re supposed to be experts – yet you don’t know anything about which products would now be king if it didn’t rain that day so I could have made the shop – shame on you. Shame, shame, shame.

Lets look at the facts:

Fact one: In Sweden in the summer the daylight goes for 24 hours and in the winter the moonlight goes on for 24 hours. This means if you wake up after fifteen years in a coma and there is no clock in the room and you look out the window, you will HAVE NO IDEA what time it is! Then some person is bound to say ‘well there probably will be a clock, it is Sweden’ and this poor person, after fifteen years in a coma will be forced to suddenly yell ‘Switzerland is the clock country, NOT Sweden!’ and the strain, and stress of not knowing what time it is AND deal with misplaced cultural stereotypes will almost certainly knock this poor man right back into a coma. Is this the kind of health system WE need to worry about Sala school kids no longer learning about potentially from 2015? Yes we do, because by looking at the bizarre health systems we can learn more about how to deal with unusual events in our own more ‘normal’ hospitals. However things like this are clearly so interesting these school kids are all but guaranteed to look them up and study them in their OWN time, therefore making the school teach them a mute point.

Fact two: Many girls in Sweden are really, really cute. This has no relevance at all to the world’s health, and would I bring this up now if there was a crises coming? Possibly, because I am often distracted by the attractive. Ha ha, that kind of rhymes. Would I bring up that rhyme dealy if there was a world health crisis coming up? Fuck no I wouldn’t, this is serious, and if I am not being serious then you better believe you can trust ME that there isn’t a world heath crises coming.

Fact three: Downhill skiing is both fun and good for your fitness, and there is way less skiing in Sweden than people think, for it is not a mountainous country, and there are way more skiers in Norway to the East, so by definition the Norwegians will be enjoying more of the health benefits and fun times which skiing offers, and very few Norwegians go to school in Sweden. Why? Well would you leave a country that offers all the fun and robustness of skiing? No you wouldn’t. Which is proof that this one schools decision will probably not affect the education of one of their bordering nations.

Fact four: I personally have a really bad diet, and that happened BEFORE this schools announcement, and if I know one things it’s this - very few people stalk me to find out exactly what I eat so they can copy it exactly down the very same quantity of French fries and how many times I dip them in barbeque sauce. Very few people do this, but some do, which means if a health crises is coming shouldn’t I cop some of the blame?

Wait a minute, wait a minute. Now see this is why I don’t like to talk about topical news type stuff, I always end up exposing myself and the cruel way I live my life at the detriment of others. And it doesn’t make me feel good. You suck Swedish school system!!!!

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