If your friend says you're thick as a block of wood it's an insult
If he says you're as thick as thieves it's a sweet commentary on your friendship.
But if he says you're as thick as the DNA from a teradactyle ball sack then he must have an awesome fossil collection and microscope and yet you've never invited me to come see! Come on guys. I thought we were friends, and after I said we were thick as thieves :( Boo.
This week was Australias big horse race, the Melbourne Cup which is said to 'stop the nation'. I could not be less interested in it, but because I had a five hour wait at a bus stop on my way to hangout in sunny Queensland for a week (I am writing this now as it rains outside so we can't go outside) and the bus stop was next to a pub which sold beer which I like, I ended up watching it anyway. Here are some of the thought I had while the big race was on.
The most fun thing about the Melbourne cup is seeing people all pissed off about losing while I maintain a breakeven guarentee!
Betting on these horses out for a jog is boring, I prefer to bet on the tredmills at the gym, those races are always INSANLY close :)
The optimist in me prefers to remember Jesus recieved a premium crusifixion- top of mountain, front & center, unobstructed views for miles!
The diciples were just premium stalkers, stalkers with benifits, no sex with me but also no sex with ANYONE - Yaaaaayyy
I'm an author, which is a sophisticated term for bookie, why aren't people lining up to donate ME money today?
My efforts to combine blues music with blue movies was going swimingly, until my request 4 a 'trumpet' solo went bad. (they didn't have one)
I bought self raising flour and I'm still waiting. I think I might waterboard it then burn its lazy ass alive in an oven!
I hate pop music, how can anyone listen to that manufactured generic crap? I think, as I joyfully devour my mcdonalds breakfast.
That last one was more of a thought I had while eating breakfast at the airport dealy :)
Hope everyone is having a sunny fun week!
Life is short. Or perhaps it lasts for a really, really long time. No one is really sure. Which sucks. If they can't figure that out definitively then what else don't we really know? The perfect size for a jar? What a fuckin' miserable thought. Fuck that. Instead here are the silly, weird, unhinged, absurd, silly, stupid, completely unrelated to hinges (moslty), poorly edited, outpourings and thought vomits of a silly idiotic teddy-bear of a dickhead. Staring David 'Pinky-Von-Sox' Tieck
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
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