Thursday, September 22, 2011

Vicious vicious criminal

If I ever go to jail I want it to be for something cool…. like vagrancy!

Other vicious criminals: Whatcha in for?

Me, only with a cool gruff vicious criminal voice: Nothing! And I mean LITERALLY nothing, I’m in jail for doing nothing for so long they put me in here, I do my nothing hard, I nothing to the core. When I’m feeling the demon in my soul I go out somewhere in public and just do nothing for so long and hard the cops are like 'if this guy keeps up with all that nothing he might fucking kill someone'. That's how bitching my nothing is motherfuckers. So stay away from my toothbrush or I’ll nothing you to death!

Priest, with tears in his eyes and a vicious quivering chin: We are gathered here today to remember the life of Tom, taken so young after David Tieck did nothing so long people started dying (now really crying) why didn't the officials stop this before it was too late, make that man do something for fucks sake!

Actually the cool thing about going to jail for vagrancy is the punishment is to continue to do nothing. Jail is literally like a perfect crafted school where people can master vagrancy! It's like Harvard man. Wow, the two pillars of cool, jail and Harvard, now I actually want to do it, I would do it too, but I’m just too viciously lazy, but still, stay away from my fucking toothbrush!

Also don't forget to go vote for me over here: for the love of god won't someone think about the vicious children?

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