Thursday, February 7, 2013

Under pants

'Oh, because they go under your pants'

And with that mere thought came the crushing and heartbreaking moment a long and arduous expedition into attempting to write a 'why do they call them 'under' pants' joke officially failed.

It was a long and fanciful journey before I hit this final insurmountable obstacle, the ultimate unclimbable wall, truth, and while tears were defendable, earned even, It'd be criminal of me to casually dismiss and discard the undeniably wonderful high points warmly enjoyed before the failure had been reached or even contemplated, and you better believe there were highs, awesome peaks of wonder such as:

- You don't try and 'under'stand them
- I've never been 'under'whelmed by them and
- 'under' a moonlit sky if I mis'under'stand a potential threat and shit my pants I don't 'under'appreciate them

But there were the lows too, obviously , painful lows that I struggled to carry on from, rage filled lows, such as:

- staring at a pile or dirty laundry trying to get inspiration
- two days going commando in uncomfortable jeans experiencing life without them
- being whipped by a nun for going to confession and asking the priest what kind of underpants he wore, and of course the worst,
- trying to see if there really is truth behind every joke by shitting my pants and checking my appreciation level. It was only medium and medium gives me NOTHING.

And then the final death. Oh, because you wear them 'under' your pants' - damn you!!!!!! The dream is dead.

Maybe next time, when recovered from this physical ordeal and mended my mental anguish, well into the future from now of course, i'll try and figure out a joke on the topic of 'what would be a good super power?'

Oh wait - Super Jealousy! Because you'd get to use it ALL THE TIME!

Damn it - I mean it's genius obviously, its so deliciously ironically optimistic, as all brilliant jokes should be, but where was the journey, the ups and downs, the lows and highs - I arrived straight at the summit, and the satisfaction in that is only medium - MEDIUM!!!!

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