Tuesday, January 27, 2015

The preeminent day ever exploration - sparkling zingaling

A whale and a crow walk into a bar, the barman says 'hey, get out I need a whale in here like I need a hole in the head'. The whale says 'alright I'm gonna kill this guy' and the crow says 'please don't start anything I've got a murder to get home too' - ZING!

The above joke, apart from being witty, smart and down right brilliantly crafted, says a lot of things to me:

- There is still far too much violence in bars. That's sad.
- I mean anyone should be welcome anywhere, not being allowed places is sad.
- Yeah, no that’s fair. There is no reason a bar should have to keep seed or worms for a crow to eat, nor should they have to keep wet sponges around for a whale to keep itself moist. But still, let them come in for a minute. If they don’t like what you have to sell that’s their problem.
- Why shouldn’t they want to buy what you have to sell? They might like beer if they try it. Buffalo Wings too. This is a modern world, and animals, like humans, are diversifying their culinary needs and desires.
- Today was the best day of my life.
- Hey this is a talking whale and crow, so yeah, I think we can be pretty confident they know what the word ‘culinary’ means.
- Of course they could be friends. What are you some sort of speciestist?
- Who am I arguing with anyway?
- I wonder I’m being affected in any negative ways by this weird hole I have in my head?
- Violence is sad. They shouldn’t have it in bars.

So yeah, freaking kick ass joke that. I give it three gold stars, that's like more stars than anyone has gotten ever. Even more gold stars than even Steven Hawking’s ever been given, and he invented stars! ZING!

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