Sunday, February 15, 2015

The best day ever declaration - bloody smile ok

Today is the best day of my life everybody, because today I get to do something that I only get the chance to do once or twice a decade at the most. Something that will surely raise the adrenalin, get the heart pumping, get a bunch of people surrounding me and focused just on me, with a spotlight right in my face, and the where the only things holding me back and yet simultaneously driving me forward are the exact same things - my past, experience, and most importantly the wide variety of things that go in and out of my mouth. There may even be blood. Ha ha, no there will DEFINITELY be blood, cause I'm going to the dentist today!! Yaayy. 

Just think about how excited the saliva, blood and gum puss sucker machine thing must be right now: 

'Sterilize me up please - and music please:

There's a special man a comin'
And it's gonna be fun n' 
I'm a gonna be lovin' 
The juices that are flowin' 

Sucking all his blood
That's flowing like a flood
His teeth may have crap all enamel 
But there still hardly flammable 

Yes I know a better rhyme was camel
Of even something like mammal
But I only sing about the mouth 
So shut up you fucking rhyme nazi cunts'

Yes the dentistry implements are excited. I'm excited. I'm currently drinking a soda, the very product the dentist will probably tell me to 'lay the fuck off or else in a couple of years you won't have any fucking teeth left for me to fucking cause fucking pain to! Is that what you fucking want? No fucking teeth? If so why not go and bite the edge of the road and I'll stomp on your head? Have you seen that movie? It was pretty good wasn't it? Perhaps a little unrealistic and preachy in parts, Edward Norton dunking? I don't think so. But the acting was pretty good, nah, really good! It's a shame what happened to that kid from terminator 2, but then that other guy went on to be in that show My Name is Earl and that was really underrated, so just keep drinking soda you little shit, and see what happens'. 

Yep, I'm off to the dentist, and it's the best day of my life! 

And now poem from the plaque scratching sharp pointy implement: 

No one understands me
No one is happy I'm here
The dentist that wields me
Uses me to raise fear 
Plaque I should be scratching
But I'm so often penetrating gum
Bad memories are attaching
Only smiles are when I'm done
Blood blood blood
Cry cry cry
Pain pain pain 
Hate hate hate 
No one understands me
I'm just a plaque scratching sharp pointy implement 
I'm the medical tool runt 
No one understand me 
I'm just a pain inducing fear mongering predicament 
But at least I'm not a rhyming nazi cunt

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