Deep thoughts from the dentist chair



- alright, open wide, nothing to worry about, just be strong, it'll be over soon. 
- oh crap I need to fart.
- like really need to. 
- fuuuuck! 
- fuck!
- fuuuuuck!
- my stomach hurts 
- oh god, why now? 
- I'm sure it's the stress of the dentist but acknowoging that isn't helping is it, who fucking cares why? 
- seriously, I NEED to fart. 
- why does everyone have to stand so close. 
- I can't even sneak one out. 
- they are literally standing over me face down.
- that's the exact opposite of a fart friendly stance.
- the longer I wait the worse it is. 
- should I just do it? 
- at least control it? 
- there's so many chemicles smells in here? 
- but not enough to cover a fart is there. 
- how many propel wish there were  MORE chemicals to smell? 
- smell doesn't cover fucking sound though, does it? 
- holy fuck that hurt, oh god like a metal thing right into my tooth!
- ok, I still need to fart. 
- grrr. 
- I can't even try and burp it away. 
- just think about anything else ok, ANYTHING. 
- how about them whales?
- wait no, flying whales! 
- just like normal whales but flying!
- in the sky!
- wow!
- sure some people call them areoplanes but if that was true then people would go to other places. 
- so how come you never meet anyone from anywhere else? 
- like you go to the DMV or RTA and its nothing but locals. 
- careful Dave you're risking going racist here. 
- what does it matter, these are just thoughts you're having in your head, who cares if they go racist?
- well what if you write out these thoughts later?
- just don't write those bits obviously? 
- why do you always censor your actual thoughts based on what people may or may not think of them, it's ok to have weird thoughts for fuck sake, it's being human, and I'm not talking about the potential for the racist territory, I'm talking the constant fucking censorship you do, judging yourself over potential judgement. It's retarded. And it's ok to use that fucking word in your head. It is. So stop fucking worrying about everything!
- oh wow I dont think I need to fart anymore. Thankgod. 
- was in the threat of racism that killed it or the self loathing shit?
- it's probably better for my mental health if it's racism right? 
- but then I'd be on of 'those' people. 
- for fucks sake you didn't even think anything racist in the end, stop fucking bashing yourself. 
- got to be nearly done here right? 
- why are my legs so fucking sweaty? - Do they sanitize the chair? 
- if not, gross, how much sweat was already there? 
- or maybe no one else comes in in shorts then sweats all over the fucking chair. 
- maybe the only gross motherfucker is you. 
- you'll be known as the sweaty gross asshole to the staff.
- everyone hates you. 
- you sweaty fucking idiot. 
- oh thanks god, spit means I'm done right? 
- holy fuck that's a lot of blood. 
- is that normal or am I going to be known as the guy that bleeds more than anyone. 
- you farty, sweaty, bleeding loser! 
- come back in six months? Not next week? 
- that means no major problems! 
- fuck yeah! I rule! 

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