Thursday, February 5, 2015

The Best day ever of my existence experience - raspberry tar magic

Hello everybody, all the people, all the folks, all the lads, all the sheilas, all the grifters, all the charlatans, all the anthropologists, all the drifters, all the harlequins, all the lifters and even all the tar-eatin-teens, actually pretty much everyone that’s reading this if I am honest. Today was the best day of my life.

I had what some would call an out of body experience today, only it was nothing like an out of body experience because as far as I know my body went everywhere I went, and in fact if I had finally mastered the art of exiting my body and going for an explore why would I stay around and look at my own body?

I mean I have seen that before damn it, many times. Almost every time I look in the mirror the person looking back at me is me. Sometimes more than one me, if there is another mirror behind me and I can see that mirror at an angle which allows me to see the me in that mirror as well as the me in the mirror I see with me in it. It’s god damn fucking magical.

And I would say at least seventy two percent of the time I look downwards at least part of my body comes into view, at LEAST seventy two percent of the time. And that’s a high percentage. If that were a movie on Rotten Tomatoes you’d totally think:

Wow, ok, this movie is probably worth seeing, maybe not worth rushing out to see, but like if we’re free, and can’t think of anything better to do, and then say to each other I guess we could see a movie, and then reply to each other yeah, I mean I guess, if there’s nothing better to do, and then discuss what movie we’d like to see, and both agree probably not one that we’ve heard is bad, and then say, well what are you in the mood for, and then reply, I don’t know, what are you in the mood for, and then say, well there is that one that’s got seventy two percent on Rotten Tomatoes, well then we might totally see it.

So yeah, that’s a kick ass percentage, and kick ass percentages are god damn fucking magical.

Check out this percentage – 47%

Holy fuck, that’s kick fucking ass!

So if I was out of my body I’d have known it. Because I would have been on some sweet beach, or walking a tight rope above a ravine, or if I couldn’t think of anything else to do seeing a movie, and I would have looked down and been like, seventy two percent of the time I see a body down there, now there is only sand, or a river, or a chair covered in caramel, salt and bodily juices, holy fuck am I having an out of body experience? And then I would have answered that ‘yes’.

But I didn’t answer yes today. I did however think some lovely thoughts that had me go places, I don’t know, like with my mind. It was sweet.

Oh I also had a drunk girl who was about fourteen walk past me on the street and say ‘have a beautiful night’ and then puke up what appeared, from the subsequent splashes of it I found further up the road, to be a raspberry slushee. And I did have a beautiful night, so thank you girl who’s parents lives suck, that thought of yours was a hundred percent kick fucking damn ass magical! In fact, I’m even glad you didn’t eat tar.

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