Saturday, March 28, 2015
It's a ruse!!
I voted today. State elections in my state of New South Wales. It was very exciting. It included some of my favorite activities, including but not limited to:
- Having my name crossed off a list.
- Getting a form handed to me.
- Figuring out how to fill out the form.
- Thinking 'seriously, people really dedicate their lives to the cycling party? I mean I get that hobbies are important to some people. And transport choices can have a deep physical and financial and time influence on your life. And there are fashion considerations to take into account. To lycra or not, for example. Oh plus getting run over by trucks isn't everyone's cup of tea. Especially on concrete. Get hit by a semi and you could totally scrape your knee. I mean ouch. But to start or even join a political party based on a hobby? And run in an election? I'm surprised. I wonder what political party I'd start if I was going to start one. The more people buy my books please party? That's not bad. We'd campaign on a platform of change, mostly in the area of book sales, with a specific focus on books written by key members of the party, including the parties founder, myself, and possibly even the parties key financial backer, myself. But we could also expand our directives into other areas, like what snacks to have at meetings. Jalapeño Poppers for example. Which could be enjoyed by favored policy mentors such as myself. Yeah that would be pretty sweet. I could be all like - I'm the head of a major political party - oh you want proof, ok - smell my breath - there's all the deep fried cheesy spice you need! I wonder how you'd go about starting a political party? You probably have to register, maybe go somewhere and get your name crossed off a list. Then, I don't know getting handed a form perhaps. Maybe followed by having to figure out how to fill it out. Wait a minute, that's sort of like what I'm doing here. They're trying to make us go through what they have to go through to start a political party with a main job of using that position to make us do what they have to do to do so, it's a scam - ITS A FUCKING SCAM EVERYONE, ITS ALL A RUSE!!!! A RUSE DAMN IT!!!!'
- Being asked to leave.
- Saying 'but I haven't voted yet'.
- Being told 'you've been in the booth for 45 minutes you've had plenty of time'.
- Screaming 'you're denying me my democratic right!!!!'
- Being forced to leave.
- Bellowing 'I'm out of order? No you're out of order. THE WHOLE DAMN TRIAL IS OUT OF ORDER!!!'
Yep voting is ace. Exciting even.