Monday, March 9, 2015

Radiant Vindictive Stiches

 Hello everybody, today was the best day of my life because I had a super fun positive time hanging out with an old friend I don’t see very much, at his home, which I had never seen before

To put that in equation form:

Old friend + new home (to me at least) = enjoyment fun.

That’s awesome.

Where as think about this equation:

New friend + old home (to everyone) = unfortunate meth lab experience.

Which is not awesome. I mean even if you enjoy meth, or even if you do not enjoy meth but do enjoy meth related activities; it clearly states right there in the equation that it is an ‘unfortunate’ meth lab experience.

Or think about this equation:

Unfortunate meth lab experience + bad memories of unfortunate experience = no fun at all.

Wow. That’s awful. I’m starting to think, and I am not sure if anyone has ever thought something like this before, but there may be, possibly, a bad side to methamphetamines.

To make matters worse, think about this equation:

Possibly a bad side to methamphetamines + no fun at all = boo.

Holy crap. That’s awful.

I interrupt today’s blog for a little bit of down tootin’ honesty:

Ok, so I was singing to myself in the shower just before ‘fun positive, fun positive, I like being fun positive’ which was an awesome song I wrote AS I WAS SINGING IT! Yep, it just came out that great. And I thought to myself ‘hey, that’s right being fun positive feels good, think about that as you write tonight’s blog’. Which, I commenced to do.

Then, I thought to myself ‘is my reaction to visiting my friend coming off as sounding sarcastic? I think it does a little. I don’t intend that at all’.

Then I thought ‘is that really where I am in life? That I say something positive about something and automatically worry that it comes off as sarcastic? That’s fucking bullshit. I will not give into that way of thinking. Just keep exploring this idea that you have found, to put things into equations. That’s a fun game to play. Cause it’s math and math is always fun (now THAT was sarcasm)’.

Then I kept typing and somehow found myself somewhere down tootin’ awful – I discovered ‘boo’.

Yes ‘boo’. That’s what you yell when the villain comes on the screen in a movie, or what you scream when you’re a ghost attacking a child (although when you’re a ghost attacking an adult you are far subtler, and yet far more vindictive and determined), or what you shriek when someone asks ‘what’s a word that rhymes with glue and starts with the letter b, and isn’t the word blue’?

Well I don’t want any part of things that rhyme with glue and start with the letter b and yet aren’t spelled the same way as glue, only with the letter g changed for the letter b, I don’t want any fucking part at all damn it.

Consider this fun equation:

No fucking part at all + vindictive ghost attacking an adult = future meth head.

Wow, that’s almost full circle! Now that’s some darn tootin’ math that we can ALL have a fun positive time with.

Wait, ‘meth’ and ‘math’ are almost the same word, ha ha, zing!

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