Thursday, June 18, 2015

Free points

Eric, an insurance claim adjuster, was having a tough time adjusting to claims that he wasn't as good at tennis as he thought he was. 

'What do you mean?' He asked, when it was first mooted. 
'Look it doesn't matter, just I wouldn't boast about it so much, is all' replied Kevin, his regular tennis opponent, and recent recipient of a twenty minute reenactment of how Eric had recently pipped him for his third straight win'.
'No tell me, I'm dying to know, how is three straight wins not a sign of my burgeoning brilliance?'
'Well, let's just say that sometimes your serves go long and I call them in because it's more fun to have a rally than call double fault. And on that note, double faults are actually when you miss only two serves in a row, it's not "when you miss two it means you get only one more" like we've been playing, which I made up so you wouldn't just double fault almost every bloody point. Oh and technically you don't get twice the points for playing double-handled backhands, I just made that up because when you go one handed you ALWAYS hit it into the net. Oh and you know the rule where the first person on to the court that yells "honey-dew melon" gets to hit it within the doubles lines and have it still be in, that you always seem to manage to say first, that's technically not in the rule books. Oh and you know how I'm a left handed tennis player, have you noticed I'm right handed in every other way?'
'So basically you've just been bending all the rules this this whole time?'
'Well yeah'.
'So I'm playing with YOUR rules and STILL winning! THREE IN A ROW, THREE IN A ROW, THREE IN A ROW!'

Kevin, Eric's regular tennis opponent had just learned a valuable lesson, the 'free' six million dollars that he'd been able to steal from Eric's insurance company using information he'd slowly gotten off Eric over three months of tennis matches had turned out to come at a cost after all. 

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