Thursday, December 17, 2015

They're stinging to come

I think that if I was suddenly attacked by a swarm of human sized bees dressed as wasps at least fourteen thoughts would immediately go through my mind:

1. Maybe I should start wearing more yellow. Wait, do I currently wear any yellow? I don't think I do. So I can't wear MORE. Wow. That's interesting.
2. Why do I have a receipt from KFC in my pocket, I haven't eaten KFC in ages. 
3. I bet 'seven' would be an a fun word to yell in a hospital, perhaps even in a good hospital! 
4. I don't think people boast enough about their epic ability to do things in moderation 
5. Avoiding jail is all about creating confusion in your trial right, that's why If I was a thief I'd only ever steal things made of steel, that way at the trial there would bound to be some confusion! 
6. I'll tell you one thing about pens, not one of them has DEMANDED I stab someone with them, it's a polite request at best. 
7. A bowl of nuts and a nut of bowls are very different, VERY different, the 2nd one is just stupid, I mean you can't have multiple bowls. 
8. Have you ever noticed that the stirrer you get with coffee may seem like it's trying to destroy segregation and facilitate harmony by mixing everything together, then bam it stabs you in the eye! 
9. Turns out at the party is 'where's the party at' 
10. If I ever had a kid I'd name it 'I told you so' - it would GUARANTEE that really annoying people would say his name a lot. 
11. One day I'm going to spend an entire year wearing nothing but a white suit so I can prove once and for all a lot can be achieved in 'one day'.
12. Either that or wear jeans, whatever's easier 
13. Wait maybe yellow jeans! 
14. I could wear them to KFC, for some reason I currently feel like some. 

The point is I wouldn't pay them any attention, I mean seriously, wasp outfits? That's hardly even different from bees. If you're going to dress up have some fucking imagination you losers. 

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