My internet has been down for a couple of days, grrrrrr, but now its back baby, and I can respond to all my lovely comments.
Hey get this one, what do you call it when your internet down? Annoying! (not so much a joke as a statement of truth born out of frustration and put into a question and answer type dealy)
By the way, fuck you NBC. First you take away my beloved Conan's show, now your sending repeats back to Australia denying me his last couple of days of hilariously ripping you a new asshole.
By the way, when you go to a restaurant they always assume you are there for a party. Smith party of four! Which makes sense because when I want to really party hard I always call up a friend and say “dude, wanna go to Ihop”
Speaking of parties, when I blow my nose I always look into the tissue to see how much snot and what colour it is. When I scratch my balls I always sniff my fingers after to see how they smell. When I take of a condom I’ve just blown a load in I always hold it up to see how much I’ve filled it up, and I squeeze it to see how thick it is, but if I get a pimple I never squeeze it, because pimple puss is fucking gross.