Thursday, April 5, 2012

Who wants an awesome job?

If someone ever randomly asked me if I wanted to control the tollbooth levies I think twelve very distinct and important questions would have to be answered first:

1.  Really me?
2. The tollbooth levies?
3.  Control?
4. Do the tollbooths themselves have levies, or is it the levies the tollbooths charge that you want me to control?
5. Control is such a fascist word; can I just give them guidance?
6. Can I paint them purple?
7. Are people really ‘born’ gay?
8.  What's the big deal with misusing the words’ their’, ‘there’ and ‘they're’?
9.  Why not the bowl tooth levies?
10. My knowledge of the economics surrounding tollbooth levy control is only somewhere in-between intermediate advanced and advanced expert, so really me?
11.  Are you going to answer any of these or should I just keep going?
12. The tollbooth levies?

If the answers came back as:
1. Yes
2. Yes
3. No - see later answer
4. Are you an idiot of course what they charge!
5. I don't think you can be fascist with a booth
6.  Yes please – we’ve actually long considered painting over the swastikas
7.  Sort of - it’s hard to explain DON'T YOU JUDGE ME!
8. Some people's lives are so perfect they have time to concern themselves with trivial bullshit
9.  Because of time wasted on trivial bullshit the we're forced to live in a world so bland bowl tooth levies barely even exist anymore
10. We would like someone with a bit better credentials but no one else is willing to take this shitty job
11.  Yes I just did
12.  Yeah, why not, it’s an awesome job that almost everyone will be fighting over

Well then yeah, I’d consider taking control of the tollbooth levies, apparently it’s an awesome job that almost everyone will be fighting over, so that sounds cool, so you know what, count me in, just as long as there planning on driving me they're otherwise I'd never even consider working their.

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