Sunday, May 31, 2015
A Valuable Lesson - Really Valuable
A valuable lesson
The cute little brown and white bunny named Sulli, had a comically enormous wide jawed bite with enormous teeth.
People liked to cuddle Sulli.
But Sulli didn't like to be cuddled.
So the bites continued.
'We've had a good thing going here for years Sulli' Kumni, another bunny, this one all black apart from a tiny white tip to his floppier left ear, said to Sulli one day 'don't ruin it you bastard, keep those comically large choppers of yours IN your mouth, or we may soon lose favor as the rodentesq creature most likely to be brought in doors to cuddle, you fucker!'
'You make me sad Kumni' responded Sulli 'for starters don't call us rodentesq, were NOT rodentesq, if that's how you feel about yourself then fine, I get it, you're kept in a cage specifically designed for ferrets, but just because THEY treat you that way doesn't mean you have to FEEL that way. Plus don't use "fuckers" as a derogatory term. We're rabbits motherfucker, and WE BREED LIKE RABBITS! Own it bitch. Or at least stop bringing your own species down with negative language and self loathing, got it!'
Just then a human picked up Sulli for a cuddle. He bit the little girl. Hard. And it looked even worse given his comically oversized teeth.
As the man of the house, in response to his daughter being bitten by such huge teeth, carried the two bunnies and a butchers knife into the kitchen, Sulli turned to Kumni and said 'look on the bright side, they probably wouldn't be planning on eating us if we were rodents'.
Kumni responded with 'ferrets are not rodents, they're weasels you stupid hug hating loser'.
The Valuable lesson of course is, REALLY valuable - DON'T eat your pets.
Oh and give a ferret a go - they're NOT rodents.
Oh and bigger isn't necessarily better.
Oh and just cause someone treats you a certain way doesn't mean you have to feel that way.
Oh and don't hate on your friends you could both be eaten soon. I'm looking at you Kevin and Carlie!