Sometimes you have to just sit and think things. It's just so relaxing.
Sure standing and thinking things is good too. I'm even partial to a hopping on one leg while attempting to balance a glass of sarsaparilla on my head and thinking from time to time. But I feel like the very nature of sitting brings up things that standing or hopping and balancing can't possibly bring up. In fact I think it's the superior way to think. So right now I want to sit and think.
Here I go.
I am now sitting.
And well, right off the bat, how about the feeling of your butt on a cushion incased in faux leather? It's lovely. And that's not something you often think about when you're standing. In fact I think I most likely exclusively think about my butt on a cushion incased in faux leather when sitting. And that's comforting to think about. Yep this is a sitting comfort and it's comfortably delightful.
And yeah, also how about having your knees bent and feet on the ground? Pretty damn sweet. You don't get that when you're standing, feat on the ground? Maybe. And yeah sure your knees bend while you're hopping, but usually only one, and it's usually not the one that's on the ground. Nope, two knees bent and two feat on the ground is its own sensation. This is a sitting sensation, and it's sensationally awesome.
Oh, and you're NOT standing or hopping. People really don't think about stuff like that enough. Not just 'this is what I'm doing' but also 'this is what I'm NOT doing'. That can be powerful stuff. 'I'm currently having a picnic' yeah, that's nice. Possibly even romantic, but how about taking a moment to think 'I'm NOT having heroin injected into my eyeball by a man with elephant man disease' that shits important. Cause I yell ya, there's a bunch of people out there with that horrible disease, and at least one of them is currently injecting some poor sap in the eyeball with heroin, or maybe a smallpox imuination, I don't know, I don't judge.
Wait, and while we're on stuff we're not doing, you're hardly ever sitting while also being chased by a heard of stampeding elephants.
In fact if there is an elephant involved then sitting probably isn't involved. Unless you're sitting on an elephant. And if you are then that's badass. So I think we've pretty much established that sitting kicks ass. And thats ass kickingly kick ass.
And I'll tell you something else, it's very hard to have your ass kicked when your ass is in a chair!
Yep. Sitting. Yay.
Ok sure, you have to sit though most of school, and even school exams, while sitting and that shit sucks. But you can't fucking blame sitting for that. That's a school administrator, possibly even PTA decision. Frankly sitting would rather you be daydreaming, or even nightdreaming, than learning.
And ok, you may well be sitting anytime someone has bad news for you and tries to prepare you for it by saying something like 'I've got bad news, you better sit down'.
And yes, you're normally sitting when in the back of a cop car having been wrongly arrested on suspicion of pedophilia.
Or wrongly accused of sexual assault of an adult. I don't judge the thing you've bee wrongly accused of, that's not my job, that's for the public at large to condemn you for. The point is that it's not sittings fault.
You know what, I'll just fucking say it - life is a rollercoaster, that's a fact. You sit on rollercoasters, that's a rule they all have. Therefore life = sitting. I didn't want to play that card. But you basically made me. And, plus you fucking sit when you play cards, so deck the halls, storm the castle, and reinterpret the hidden message hiding in every hide club, I fucked you all hard in the fucking ear, you and your motherfucking 'I'd rather stand or hop while balancing a glass of sarsaparilla on my head to do my thinking' fools!
Yep, sometimes you just have to sit and think motherfuckers! And we can change the world!...
Plus it's just so relaxing.