Friday, June 12, 2015

Things I learned trying to think of Rhymes for Frosted Flakes

Cornflakes - they've been a staple of human existence for hundreds of years. They've been eaten by everyone from Kings to peasants, Princes and Paupers, and Presidents to people who didn't vote for that particular president and are bitter about it. They're tasty, and hearty, and value for money, and calling someone 'corny' originally meant that there were someone who made intelligent and well thought out breakfast cereal decisions.

It's no surprise that songwriters throughout the ages have, in a delicious bowl of Cornflakes, found a beautiful, inspirational and occasionally even erotic muse.

I'm talking about:

Cornflake Girl by Tori Amos
Flake Shake by Dr Dre
Orange Mornings By Cheap Trick
Crunch Mouth By Metallica
Box Of Love By the Bee Gees
Breakfast Romance By Dean Martin
Last Spoonful By The Beatles
Milk On Top By Miles Davis
Without My Bowl by Hank Williams
Deep In My Mouth by Bing Crosby
Overture For The Golden Crunchy Corn Flakes by Mozart

Yes Cornflakes, truly wonderful cereal, and extremely exceptional muse.

There's only one problem, I DONT LIKE CORNFLAKES. I actually prefer Frosted Flakes, cause Frosted Flakes are Cornflakes with frosted stuff, and that frosted stuff is yum.

But there are NO songs about Frosted Flakes. I get none of that joy of eating a cereal while listening to quality music inspired by that very same cereal that Cornflake eaters take for granted every morning. It's a miserable existence.

But I today, while attempting to remedy this situation, I believe I discovered why – it’s hard to think of good Rhymes for ‘Frosted Flakes’.

So here are things I learned while attempting to think of rhymes for Frosted Flakes:

- It's hard to think of rhymes for frosted flakes.
- 'Crusted Snake' is terrible.
- 'Moss Did Great' is ok.

Do you know any songs that were inspired by Frosted Flakes? Want to help me write one? We’ll turn the session into a world wide dominating rock band of extraordinary talent, skill and success if you want, only one rule, when we get to fill out our riders, we always write – NO Cornflakes.

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