'Alloying of the human torso had become rife. I mean not as bad as the pearling of the human foot, or the humaning of the average monkeys pearl collection, but still significant enough to be mentioned in magizines. Sure they were niche magazines, with tiny readerships, and sure in those ariticles the alloying was treated with disdain 'sure it looks cool, for an hour, and then you realize you're too heavy to ever stand up again, unless you've really been doing your leg exercises, and let's face it, most people attracted to the alloying lifestyle have not' would scream the headlines. Single handily making the alloyers seem dumb, while also making the editors in charge of the magazine's headlines seem unwilling to cut down to managable, and intelligent sizes, while also reinventing the term 'single handedly' to mean multiple handed things, but only if you interpret them strangely' I said to my boss.
Seconds later my 'personal day' request was honored! It was totally worth the six months research into weird sub-cultures and niche magazine history too. Cause guess what I did with that day off? Yep. I TOTALLY tried on pants. Didn't buy any, cause they looked dumb, but how'd I have known otherwise?