Wednesday, October 28, 2015

Fleeting forever is Fleeting Forever

It's just come to my attention today that if you google Fleeting Forever you do not in fact easily find Fleeting Forever, by which I mean THIS Fleeting Forever, that you're reading right now, this website called Fleeting Forever that is.

I discovered this when standing in the lobby of a hotel holding my bag, which has 'FLEETING FOREVER' painted on the side of it, and I noticed a girl walk past, see it, mouth the words 'fleeting forever' with her mouth (which is my personally preferred method of mouthing words, I tried doing it with my spleen for a while with only limited success, and I once met a woman who used a taxidermy skunk she'd had grafted to her back to cover up the scars from where she'd had a cluster of moles removed, but again with only limited success) she then pulled out her phone and seemingly typed 'fleeting forever' into google, and I thought 'woopee, my brilliant advertising campaign is working, I'm finally going to build readers, make fans, get love, start to matter, get some attention, not feel so alone, scare the dark clouds away, I can stop feeling worthless, I can stop drinking a bottle of cough medicine a day, I can stop purposely wearing a slightly too heavy coat and feeling slightly too hot and thinking that even though this cosiness is nice at times, I deserve the times that it doesn't feel that way, and be me!!' You know, the average thoughts of a real writer has upon getting a new reader. 

Then of course I thought 'woopee' Seriously Dave? No REAL writer would ever think that word, you're a nothing, a pathetic loser, a complete waste of biology and atoms and then I thought 'well real writers do think thoughts like THAT all day? Why is this so confusing?'

Then I decided to google Fleeting Forever to see what comes up when you google it. Which of my hundreds of blogs would be the highlight? How many links to the many things I've attempted to achieve would be found? Why don't I have any cold drinks near me? Warm soda is gross but I'm still drinking it. I'm hot for some reason damn it. Fleeting Forever, my baby, it's been years since I googled it, and since then I've written several million words of it! It must dominate that corner of Google now. 

So I googled it. What comes up? Fucking nothing!!!!!!!!! Well at least nothing to do with me.

- A defunct band. 
- Some Napoleon quote.
- Articles that have used both those words but not concurrently.
- But no me. 

This is bullshit. 

It's occurred to me that perhaps I need to use the words Fleeting Forever more often in this to sparkle up those search engines, so I have used Fleeting Forever several times in this blog already, and I may even write Fleeting Forever a few MORE times. And by write Fleeting Forever, I mean type Fleeting Forever, and by type Fleeting Forever, I mean into my phone, where I write most of Fleeting Forever's blogs. 

Now while Fleeting Forever is a beautiful poetic term I coined myself, who can forget all the wonderful times it's subsequently been used by others in this world. Let's list some:

- We all gasped when watching Pulp Fiction yet again, but for the first time noticed that in the scene in the coffee shop at the end when the briefcase is opened we can see in the reflection of a knife in the background that the golden glow is in fact sourced by golden yellow neon lights spelling FLEETING FOREVER.
- We all sighed beautiful sighs of beauty when we finally got speakers loud enough to hear what Bill Murray says to Scarlett Johansen at the end of 'Lost In Translation' and discovered he'd said 'I wish it was you instead of the redhead, well maybe not, then you'd be a cheater, I don't think the audience wanted that, anyway have a nice life, don't eat the peanuts on your flight, someone told me once they're now this artificial synthetic replacement thing so as not to kill people with peanut allergies, oh you've got spinach on your teeth. When did you eat spinach? Anyways I best be off, the director just said to whisper something, I'll cya at the wrap party, peace, fleeting forever'.
- We burped when we saw the actor who played Tim's neighbor in Home Improvement in subsequent acting performances and discovered instead of a chin he had an elephant tusk with Fleeting Forever engraved in it. 
- We gurgled you we ran World War Two era decoding machines over 'one small step for man, one giant step for man kind' and found it broke down to 'Yay, Fleeting Forever, check it out, it's Ace'
- We all exhaled wind from our ears by holding our nose and blowing, when's watching the original 'Planet Of The Apes' when Charlton Heston spots the Statue of Liberty sticking out of the sand, but when watched through the eyes of an official set used ape mask you instead saw a billboard sticking out of the sand saying 'Fleeting Forever' and he screamed 'you maniac' knowing he was in fact on earth. 
- We pussed from our scabs when Ringo Star performed one of his most famous and epic drum solos with the Beatles on Ed Sullivan and morse coded out the words 'Come Together right now? I pitched Fleeting Forever, big cow, but I guess I don't matter, my opinions don't count, pricks, well one day I'll get my revenge, I'm going to voice a cartoon/ claymation train! John or Paul could NEVER pull that off!
- We all sweated out a fibula bone when no name tweeter @gluedome tweeted 'Fleeting Forever, pretty good' to his seventeen followers. 

Ok that last ones a bit far fetched and I'll admit I made it up, but the others are all real. 

So yeah, that should do it. Wait. Hang on. Fleeting Forever, FLEETINGforever, FLEETINGFOREVER, fleetingFORVER. Fleeting Fleeting Forever Forever 
Fleeting Forever Forever
FleetingFleeting Forever

Ok that should do it. Hopefully this will make me googlable. If that doesn't work I can always move on to my next big idea, mouthing words using a puddle of Gatorade I pull around behind me on a tarp, it might not be memorable, but I could get some sponsorship money! 

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