Down the road from
the malicious witch’s house….
Over near the
green fire lake….
Behind the chrome
colored lightening shooting tree…
That sits next to
the harpoon dropping giant magical robot, the one with the eyes made out of a
thousand glued together tiny demons, each of which have been brainwashed to say
nothing but a different dirty word over and over at a pitch rarely pleasant, if
at ALL pleasant, and with nostrils which are slightly different shaped giving
off a facial expression which is hard to read and yet always seems to be
signifying some degree of anger, or at the very least pissed-offedness, and
with arms which bend backwards in a way that make people who see them immediately
suck air through their gritted teeth inwards in empathetic pain as if they have
seen two viciously broken arms, until they realize that perhaps the arms were
just ATTACHED to the robot on the wrong sides, and yet if you look even closer
you realize that they can’t have been put on the wrong sides or else the screws
would have had to be bent, and no one is going to go to that much effort, I
mean maybe for a good robot, but this robot was evil from the get go, and yet
despite this unlikely scenario no one can know for sure because the inventor
cannot be located, so no explanation of why the arms we’re designed in such a
pain inducing way is available, which is REALLY frustrating for those people
who are concerned with such things, and yet completely irrelevant for those who
have acid spat in their eyes by the demons, but still even for those with their
eyes being melted off are still annoyed by the thought of asking the robot to
hand them something, a towel to mop up the liquefied eyes mess for example,
only to discover that due to the robots poorly crafted arms it struggles to
hand people ANYTHING, which is a infuriating, I mean think about it ‘please
hand me the butter?’ you may request of a close acquaintance who is presently
located closer to the butter than you are at this given time, well then if the
reply came as ‘sorry I have badly designed arms and therefore I struggle to
hand people things’, well then you’d have to reach out to get the butter
yourself, and did I mention at the time this began you had a warm roll in front
of you, a WARM roll, any delay in getting this butter is going to drastically
change how enjoyable this roll is, it doesn’t sound like a pleasant experience
does it? Plus right after your eyes have been liquefied the LAST thing you want
to be thinking about is melting butter. And lets also point out the giant grey
beast in the room, if you see this giant robot, you’re immediately going to
think ‘wow, next time I have to throw together a rag-tag bunch of football
players to play against the local university team in a last ditch effort to
save the farm, this robot will be the FIRST guy I pick’, but then you’d get him
out on the field and discover that due to his arms he can’t even catch a
football satisfactorily, which depending on the variety of football you are
talking about in your particular scenario, and which position on that team you
choose to play him in, could mean that you’d wasted your first pick on a player
who potentially could not perform at level as high as you’d hoped. Plus what if
the referee asked it to ‘hand me the ball please?’ Yeah, good luck winning the
penalty count in THAT game…
And adjacent to
the giant people slurping portal to Dimension Karlilk, known in dimension
circles as the place Hell WISHES it could be…
Is where Luke
lives.
Luke doesn’t get
many visitors these days.
No one is really
sure why.
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