CHAPTER TWENTY NINE
“Never let your fears stop you from pursuing your goals;
You’ll never achieve anything until you learn to never give up!”
“Where have you been?” Ellie asked in a frustrated tone as soon as she spotted me
“Just up at the shops…have you been waiting long” I replied
“Well yeah….but it’s not your fault…that’s what I get for coming over unannounced”
“I’m sorry anyway”
“Thanks….thing is though; I wanted to surprise you with a present”
“Really, you got me a present…..you didn’t have to do that”
“I know….well its sort of a present for both of us” She pulled out of her bag a cubed shaped present wrapped in lilac tissue paper with a turquoise ribbon around it. I’d never in my life received a present so nicely wrapped
“Can I open it?”
“Can we go inside first? That’s if you’re free for us to hang out for a little while?” she asked
“Ok let’s go inside” I said as I opened up the door and let her in before me “I’ve got no plans for the afternoon, so I’d love to hang out”
We sat down on the couch together, and Ellie began to rub my knee
“Ok now open it”
I undid the paper, softly so not to ruin such a nice wrapping job, and inside found a blue box wrapped in clear cellophane, with a logo on it which was strangely familiar. I turned the box around and read the front and it said ‘Tiger Condoms’ – put the bite back in your sex life”.
“It’s a twenty four pack” Ellie said “So we should be good for few days without having the same problem as last night” she said with a smile
“Holy shit” I thought as my jaw rested on top of the box in a state of disbelief
“Do you want to try one out right now?” Ellie asked as she slid in slightly closer to me so that she was now starting to cuddle me from the side
“Ahhhh…..ummmm….well….yes….of course” I mumbled
“Holy shit” I thought
Then Ellie began to kiss me on the neck, while I sat dumbfounded for a few more seconds. Until she started to kiss me on my mouth and I started to get into it. Even after the less than successful attempt at making love with Ellie the night before I was for some reason not really nervous at all this time. I lost myself in the moment, and just tried to concentrate on making sure I could make Ellie enjoy it as much as possible. Fortunately Ellie had no problems taking the lead and telling me what to do.
We started out kissing each other all over as we removed each others clothes one piece at a time, and then gave whatever new bit of skin that was exposed lots of attention with our lips and tongues. Then Ellie told me to sit back and enjoy. I wasn’t sure exactly what she had in mind until she began to kiss me down my stomach and then below my stomach. “Oh my god… Oral sex for me?”
Oral sex isn’t too bad a thing really. It’s amazing that someone like me who is so self-conscience that I couldn’t even consider going to the toilet in a urinal in case another guy walked into the bathroom, could then be more than happy to have a girl who made me scared just to be around, because I was so crazy about her, have my penis in her mouth. I didn’t get self conscience at all. I resisted my inclinations to lie there while she was doing this completely panicking about the thought that while she was doing this that she was thinking to herself “Jesus Christ this is a small ugly one”, in fact it only crossed my mind five or six times in the thirty seconds she was down there before I was done.
I also resisted the temptation to argue with myself over whether to tell her or not that an orgasm was imminent, and therefore talk myself out of an orgasm. I decided to just let it happen naturally, and deal with the consequences later, if there were to be any. I think Ellie was probably a little surprised when I exploded twenty two years of sexual frustration into her mouth thirty seconds after she started sucking on it. She did have some trouble swallowing the whole lot. Her cheeks filled up like she was trying to blow up a balloon, and then she made one of those big all body, face contorting loud swallows. However after she had swallowed it all down, then scooped in the bit which had trickled down her chin, and eaten that too, all she said was “You taste so good JayJay”. I didn’t really believe her, but I thought it was sweet anyway. Then she said “I’m not going to have to eat steak for a month”, which made absolutely no sense to me, but then the fact she was sitting naked in front of me, with a pile of my sexual reproductive fluid in her stomach made about as much sense to me as giving a blind man tickets to a silent movie.
After that Ellie asked if I would now “do her”, which I believe I correctly took to mean giving her oral sex. I kissed my way back down there and licked away again like I was licking up maple syrup after a plate of delicious pancakes, and Ellie again guided me with comments like “Right there” and “Yes, yes, yes” which I quite enjoyed. And she again tried to crush my head and then thank me three or four times, which I took to mean she had quite enjoyed the experience.
Then we actually made love. Having already organsmed from the oral sex I was quite relaxed going into actual intercourse. We started with Ellie on top of me, until I started to arch my back, and she started to bang her head on the roof. So we switched to me in control. At first it was very awkward, but I soon found a good rhythm and was keeping it up for ages. Then Ellie started to moan more and more, and this got me more and more turned on, then I would pump away harder and harder, and she would moan even more, which would turn me on more and more, so I would pump even harder, like I was trying to hammer in a ten foot nail as quickly as possible, and she started to say things like “Yes, yes, yes” and “Keep going”, and “Yes hard just like that” and it got me so turned on that I exploded right inside one of the condoms she had so very kindly brought around for me, right about the same time as she now tried to crush my pelvic bone between her thighs, and we both collapsed into a big sweaty hug.
Ellie said about four or five times in a row “that was so good JayJay”, and I felt about the happiest I had ever felt in my life. My first real proper sexual experience and I had performed admirably despite my nerves, and had satisfied my lady friend with aplomb. I felt proud, and manly, and just plain good and warm inside.
In fact there was really only one thing that I got wrong all evening. Ellie excused herself to go to the bathroom at one point, and I decided to take the opportunity to work at something in my nose which had been bothering me for a little while. I stuck my finger up there to nearly the knuckle, and pulled out a booga about the size of a goldfish. Only thing was just as I was feeling the relief from freeing that from my nasal cavity, Ellie suddenly started to open the door. Trying to think fast I searched all around for a place to wipe it, but found nothing, then in a panic, just as she was closing the door behind her I quickly jammed it back inside my nostril, where it again sat uncomfortably for another thirty minutes while we cuddled. Although I’m not quite sure why I decided to tell you that.
After those thirty minutes had blissfully passed, the worst moment of the night came, just as I was drifting off to sleep in complete merriment, Ellie turned to me and said “Sorry I have to go now, Brad will be home soon”. “Don’t fucking say that” I thought, “don’t say that” I said. However despite my heartfelt pleas for her not to leave and spend the whole night with me, up she did get, and leave she did. I’d never spent a whole night in bed with a girl before, and it had always felt normal. That night however the other side of the bed felt completely empty. The only thing that could console me was the knowledge of what had taken place right there only hours earlier and the promise Ellie had made on departure that “We have to do this again real soon”.
Real soon turned out to be the next night. Hooray for me! Ellie showed up at around five thirty still wearing her ‘Friendly Furniture’ outfit. Only not for long, she practically stripped naked before we had said hello. And within two minutes of her arrival we were going at it like two panda bears trying to save their species. We never even made it to the bed, just did it on the couch, and again I must say, I did quite a good effort of achieving satisfaction for my partner, at least that’s the impression I got.
“Sorry…..I just couldn’t get you out of my mind today” Ellie said through deep breath as we lay uncomfortably but happily having completed our sexy time.
“You never have to say sorry to me for allowing me to do that with you” I replied
“Are you sure you don’t mind….I mean last night was so good…I just had to have more”
“Of course I don’t mind…..was I really good?”
“Are you kidding…you’re the best JayJay….do you know how long it’s been since I had really good sex?”
“No….but I know what that feels like”
“Really…have you had some droughts too?”
“What’s the worst you have had….six months?” she optimistically asked
“Something like that” I lied
“Oh ok…well you’re not going to have any droughts anytime soon…..I mean hopefully we can do this regularly”
“Really….well you know I want to…I’m here anytime you want me”
And so started the first ever period of my life where sex was listed on my list of regularly performed past times. Ellie Belly (as she hated me calling her) would come over three or four nights a week, whenever Brad was working late, and we would make love, and other stuff too, talk and cuddle, and watch movies, then when the clock hit closing time for Brads shop, Ellie would disappear from my arms, always leaving me grasping for more and guaranteeing we would both be yearning for each other all day until we could next be in each others presence. In actual fact, I think you could probably even say that I had a sex life. Wow I actually could say I had a sex life. If someone was to ask me one day
“So JayJay old chap, how goes thy sex life in these recent times?”
“Overly splendid as a matter of fact” I could reply
“That’s delightful news young master Domey” They’re bound to exclaim
“Yes it most certainly is good sir, in fact one could proclaim that I have in fact been getting thy rocks off on quite a remarkably regular interval of time” I would be forced to reply
“That’s marvelous, three cheers for JayJay, Hooray, Hooray, Hooray, now sir, I believe such fantastic news is worthy of a celebratory scone” They’re likely to respond
“How delicious! You must be sure to thank your mother for cooking such an enticing and wonderful snack for us here to celebrate my most satisfactory life of sex” I could say.
Times were good. I began my new job for EMK soon after this, and settled in remarkably well. The rest of the staff were really friendly to me, and the work was so much fun and so easy, it seemed so unlikely that I could be paid to do it. The most satisfying part of all though was the first time I turned on the cartoon channel and got to watch a cartoon which I had done some of the drawings for, and then seeing my name on the credits at the end as one of the animators. I have watched television my whole life and I don’t think I had ever read the credits before, and it made me feel really good to think of the many other people over the years who had gotten to see all their hard work come together in the sole purpose of entertaining people, and then see their names up on the screen as an extra bonus reward.
Working on TV may not be quite as important a job as say a doctor, or an army general, or a toilet scrubber, but I think it’s quite an honorable job. What do you do for a living? I entertain people, I put smiles on people’s faces, and I make people happy. And who couldn’t do with just a little bit of extra happiness in their lives. If there is in fact anyone in the world who couldn’t squeeze in just a little bit more, then I hope they die a horrible painful death, so they can feel like I had to most of my life.
With work taking up lots of my time, and then school after work a couple of nights a week, Ellie coming over three or four nights a week, and then hanging out with Hannah in basically all the other free time I had, I was suddenly very busy. Busyness is a remarkable antidote to negative self talk. I really didn’t have time to feel sorry for myself anymore. It barely even crossed my mind to dedicate a considerable period of time to just reminding myself of all the embarrassing things I have done over the course of my often unremarkable life.
I had found contentment. Contentment is great, I recommend it to anyone. Of course I hope you people out there aren’t thinking that this is where my story ends. I think you should know me better than that by now. You know contentment could never be a reliable state for me. There are always going to be ups and downs in life, like an airport, sure most planes go up no worries, most also come down no worries, but sometimes they just blow up in an enormous ball of flame, and leave behind hundreds of charcoaled bodies, which rescue workers then have to peel off the seats they were melted onto from the combination of sizzling flesh and melting fake leather seats. Life is a roller coaster baby, you just have to ride it, and I had been going up a steep hill for quite a while, it was time for the inevitable stomach emptying fall.