I really am a sweet guy.
Like when I see someone I know who is upset I'll go up to them and rub their shoulder and gently say 'there there'.
I think if you're basically a decent human and you care about someone, and they are facing a hard moment or situation, the very least you can do is have the compassion to say a pretty random, irrelevant and clearly unhelpful word two times in a row.
Some guys out there are mean sadistic scum, yes I have seen them, and when they try to comfort someone in pain they will offer merely a singular 'there'.
Those motherfuckers. One more 'there', right after the last 'there' to expand their 'there' into a 'there there' and the person suffering may have discovered in their love the strength and fight to overcome their problem. But they can't bring themselves to do it.
And really, in a 'there' world there is little hope for peace, happiness and understanding.
I can sense some of you are upset at realizing this sad truth, but because I am a sweet guy I offer all of you a warm heartfelt 'there there', ahh now isn't that better?
Life is short. Or perhaps it lasts for a really, really long time. No one is really sure. Which sucks. If they can't figure that out definitively then what else don't we really know? The perfect size for a jar? What a fuckin' miserable thought. Fuck that. Instead here are the silly, weird, unhinged, absurd, silly, stupid, completely unrelated to hinges (moslty), poorly edited, outpourings and thought vomits of a silly idiotic teddy-bear of a dickhead. Staring David 'Pinky-Von-Sox' Tieck
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